Impatience, Poundage and Chocolate Covered Dreams
Well we are down to the final stretch… this time next week I imagine I will be walking around the Star Medica hospital, burping up a storm and not feeling too clever.
The faster time seems to fly, the slower time goes… does that make any sense? Every day seems to drag waiting for my surgery, even though it has been full of adventures (mainly involving Justin). I’m so anxious to get on with this journey and bring myself up through the back swing of recovery.
I have been reading scores of forums, blogs and Facebook posts about people stalling in their weight loss efforts around week three post op. I am beginning to thing I have hit that stall myself already.
I have been pre-op dieting since April 08, and I dropped a total of 21 lbs… then this week my scales shot up 9 lbs literally overnight and have not moved! Now, I confess, having been on low carb, low calorie for three weeks, I have all but lost my appetite and I am barely getting my food in. Most days I will eat an Atkins meal bar (I think I am addicted they are so darn yummy), and some dinner. Add to that a decaf coffee with cream and sweetner, about 13 cups of water and a cup of tea at bed time.
Certainly a small enough amount of calories to make me loose – or maybe not enough to help me continue to drop. Either way, I am very disinterested in eating these days so I am not going to let the scale bother me… it’s just a number and in the end, it is going to come off. I am not changing my recorded weight, I am simply flicking my hair, putting my nose up and saying, “Screw you scale, you are wrong.”
At this point I think it’s a good thing that I have physically prepared myself to this extent – I will not suffer when I move to clear liquids for two weeks and thicker liquids for two more – the requirement for recovery with my doctor.
BRING. IT. ON.
Now, with all that said, almost nightly I am having strange vivid dreams about cheating on my diet!! Just last night I dreamt I “accidentally” ate chocolate, and a couple of nights before I dreamt I was sitting at a table eating cupcake after cupcake. What’s that about?!
It’s just too bad that the dreams battle my conscious mind, and cause angst. If I could control it I would say, "Hey Dream Girl… you snarf just as many of those delicious cupcakes as you want… do it every night and don’t spare a crumb!!"
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