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I just took the shame out of this choice!

I planned this surgery for a year. I dreamed about it for a lot longer than that. So, when my surgery finally got approved and scheduled, I immediately hid it from almost everyone close to me. No one at my office knows I was sleeved. Only my husband, best friend, 2nd Mom (my mom's best friend.... She stands in for my Mom), and one brother (of five siblings). Everyone else knows the "vague truth" story.... A procedure done to remove some of the fat in my liver and "roto-rooting" to discourage more fat build-up in my otherwise compromised liver. Still.... Sort of the truth. So, what's the big deal? Why am I hesitant to just say, "yeah, I got sleeved to lose weight?" Why is there shame around that? Is it because John Q Public who has always been height-weight proportionate is quick to judge it? It's the easy way out, right? More admiration and respect goes to those who lose weight on their own and keep it off. Right? Somehow, this is cheating?

 

It's cheating to sacrifice 80% of a vital organ for the REST of my LIFE? It's the easy way out to never get to enjoy a big Thanksgiving meal with my family EVER again? I'm taking a short cut by undergoing general anesthesia and getting punctured - not once - but five times in the gut? It's just a vacation for me knowing my hair is going to fall out and I can only hope it grows back?

 

Right. Still, I feel the social stigma of the shame that goes with. Today, I've been reflecting on this. And this is the peace I'm making with it.

 

Society says they admire a person who loses weight "on their own." This includes people using appetite suppressants. An appetite suppressant is just a tool to prop them up, but THEY are the ones doing the HARD work. THEY are having to change their eating habits and choices. They couldn't do it without the appetite suppressant. It is a needed tool to accomplish their ultimate goal - lose weight.

 

The sleeve IS AN APPETITE SUPPRESSANT. The difference is, IT actually WORKS, and works for the long-term FAR FAR FAR better than any prescription drug that is swallowed. And, I'm not adding chemicals to my body. I'm not forgetting to take it, or changing my mind about taking it, or dealing with unpleasant side effects. I have an appetite suppressant THAT REALLY WORKS! And, after the weight comes off, I won't rebound like most people do who "do it themselves" (according to John Q Public).

 

So, I am thinking that we Sleevers have a responsibility to TEACH others. We have every right to hold our heads up with pride for being COURAGEOUS ENOUGH to make this lifelong commitment to change a lifelong brainwashing about healthy-eating and healthy-living. I refuse to accept any snide remarks from anyone. I will communicate pity to them for their ignorance and lack of evolving. And, I'll certainly offer to enlighten them on how one should think about their health going into the 21st Century.

 

Sleeving isn't just giving me my life back. It is SAVING my life. I'm not ashamed of myself. I'm PROUD of me! I found a RELIABLE tool to use to lose weight. The most reliable tool available.

 

This is the hardest work I've ever loved!



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Oh my word amazing words!! And so true. I stopped telling people after some huge negativity!! I was weak.. Cheating.. all I need is willpower!! And a good gym! Ha if only my eating habits were that easily controlled!! I was looking into amphetamine based appetite suppressants (with the risk of all the major side effects) and I was like "Rachel what are you doing?!!""

I encountered one person yesterday ( I told my 3 closest friends here) I felt I had to as we eat out so much and knew they would be suspicious. 2 of my friends said how brave I was.. Very encouraging. The other one said not one single word & tried to change the subject!! I am still shocked & upset by this.

We sleevers are brave and committed to giving up something we had a relationship with all our lives! We have made a decision to break an unhealthy habit which would eventually give us heart disease... Diabetes.. High blood pressure etc! How can this be the easy way out?!! It's not. I was also a daily consumer of alcohol (2 glasses every night!!) I am not missing this & I have never gone 4 weeks without! So I agree whole heartily that we are very very brave & it's not the cheats way out!!

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AMEN SISTA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY WORDS FROM THE VERY START....SAY IT LOUD .. I AM SLEEVED AND I M PROUD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND BY NO MEANS IS IT THE EASY WAY OUT !!!!! HELL NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO... AND WHOEVER THINKS THAT CAN KISS MY BIG BOOTY ( WHILE ITS BIG CAUSE ITS GONNA BE AN ITSY BITSY BOOTY SOON) LOL............MAY WE ALL HAVE A WONDERFUL AND HEALTHY JOURNEY !!!!!!!! MUCH LOVE TO YOU ALL

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Preach it, girl!! There is a quote from Eleanor Roosevelt that I have always loved: "Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent." You are absolutely correct that the sleeve is just a tool. I don't feel ashamed for one second that I'm doing this, and I could not care less about somebody else judging me for it. Nobody can make me feel ashamed without me agreeing that there is something to feel ashamed about. There are things in my life that I'm not proud of, but this ain't one of them. Good for you for being proud!

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When I got the band, I got input from a few people...some that I now know I shouldn't have discussed it with because I didn't want to "go public". Telling one or two "wrong" people can be just like telling everybody. I didn't shout it from the highest mountain top, but I shared it. I admire those that can and do "let it all out".

This time, I'm more private. I've been more selective because it is my second time around and if you think the first WLS surgery comes with judgment, WELL, LET ME TELL YOU...

I want to learn my new tummy and lifestyle without the glare of the spot light. That is, the food police, the constant questions, comments and observations. Sharing every step of my journey with everybody does not interest me. I have a support system that works for me.

One day, I will happily share my WLS story when and with whom I choose. Right now, I'm doing something that I have rarely done in my life. I'm focusing on me. This is about me being better and healthier for myself and my loved ones. When I think about it that way, the list of people that I feel the need to tell just got shorter.

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