Waiting on the Calendar...
It has been a ruff couple of weeks. I'm taking this food funeral thing a bit too far, and I've felt like crap and been depressed because of it. I know that the way I feel is because I'm eating the wrong things, not exercising like normal, and the scale is going up.
I'm not sure if others out there are sugar addicts as well (meaning one of something is never enough, and you feel like a junkie when you haven't had sugar...but as soon as you do you are "all good" and can think straight again)....but I am so ready for this surgery. I'm ready for the pain and misery with having to deal with my food addiction in the weeks that follow, and that will be my "come clean" time. When I make it past about 7 days sugar free, I feel "normal" again...happy. But these days I can't seem to make it a day. (And I've been in counseling for 5 months now with no avail.....)
Being that weak and lacking in self control feel so humiliating...but it's truth. I had planned to lose 10 lbs before going to Hawaii in a few weeks, but I feel so powerless right now, that I don't know if I can. I need to get back to "clean eating" even if just for the next two weeks to detox my digestive system (and brain). So starting tomorrow I'm going to.
I hate the way sugar makes me feel. I seriously need this "intervention"....come on June 7th!!!
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