Eight days until my VSG surgery!YIKES!
I don't expect anyone to read this blog. I'm mainly writing it to myself to read at a future date. My digital time capsale.
I really want to remember the old me (pre-surgery).
Being weight conscious started when I was in sixth grade. I went to the doctor to get a sports physical and the doctor told me I was a chubby little girl and needed to lose ten pounds. I didn't really know how to process that, so I just stopped eating (it made sense at the time). I lost the ten pounds but didn't know how to handle food after that. So I was on a constant diet for the next fifteen years. So when I got pregnant, I thought, finally I can eat anything I want and not feel guilty about it!!!! Oh, happy days. I was going to nurse so the extra weight was just going to fall off. Boy was I wrong - so naieve- so blissfully naieve. As if pregnancy weight is some how different from the regular stuff.
I was 245 when I delivered my bouncing baby boy. I got down to 192 in about six months but couldn't move the scale after that. Repeat the same story two more times. Except after pregnancy number three I can not move the scale more than five pounds. I still weigh 245 two years later. I am in such a rut and I can not climb out on my own. I've really tried everything I can think of. In the spring of 2012 I begain considering weight loss surgery and settled on the sleeve after a lot of reasearch.
Monday 05/0613 @12:00p.m. is my surgery. I'm a little scared of the procedure and complications from the procedure, but's it's a risk I'm willing to take because I can not continue on my current path any longer.
My husband is supportive, but nervous for me. He's nervous about something going wrong and altering my body for the rest of my life. Which I appreciate and love him for, but I'm ready for this. I'll just have to keep praying - What shall be, will be.
So future self: I can't wait to check in with you in six months and to see how well you've done. I am so ready for a different type of life.
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