Day 5 - Sunday, April 21st. I didn't sleep peacefully. Lately, I've been sleeping propped up on several pillows and it still feels foreign. I can't shake this headache. I think it's caffeine-withdrawal, but it could be aggravated by the residual general anesthesia administered during surgery. I have a history of not tolerating anesthesia well over weeks and even months after it was administered. My liver doesn't process toxins as well as the average person. It just takes longer to dissipate. I think I did too much Saturday. I felt like a rock star and wanted to do a lot. Going shopping was probably premature. I woke up Sunday feeling like I was hit by a bus.... Figuratively speaking, only. So, Sunday was much quieter. I SHOULD have napped, but, my mind was constantly going. I take care of my younger sister with severe CP, normally. She lives with me. We finished a 64 day hospitalization just a month before my surgery. I say "we" because I stayed with her. Pneumonia and a host of other life-threatening illnesses almost took her from me, but she recovered. She got her first tracheotomy and came home with a ventilator (life support). I have aides lined up to take care of her during the day and evening for two weeks while I recover from my VS. my husband does night duty. But, yesterday, there was a few hours that my sis and I only had each other to care for us. Not much needed to be done, but I needed to stay awake for her sake, so I never rested like I should have.

Also, I think I hurt myself. I shredded up 1/2 of a slice of (2% milk) cheese and put it in a mug with my hot tomato soup. I'm suspicious that's why I have this continual burning sensation in my sternum even today. I'm doing mostly clear fluids today. I'll do my best to get my protein in, but I'm going to be conservative about everything today. My surgeon changed me from Nexium to Pepcid. I'm not sure that was best for me.

Sunday night, I couldn't relax enough to get comfortable and fall asleep. I finally took an Ultram about midnight, hoping it would help me rest. It did. But today, Monday, I feel very drugged and sluggish. I think I'll put the pain pills away and just ask my husband to massage me till I fall asleep if I have another night like that.

The physical pain is almost completely gone. Just a few tender places on my tummy. I'm looking forward to getting back to work, but I need to get that pain pill out of my system first. I can't think clearly today. I never like feeling drugged or drunk. This, too, shall pass.

Am I sorry I had the surgery? Not at all! These quirks are to be expected and will pass. I'm really looking forward to how much better I will feel by my 52nd birthday in August. I consider April 17th my other birthday and will celebrate it every year.