I am pre-op, too. Day 10 of the liquid protein 14-day diet. As an older woman (60's) and married, I just want to tell you that you are the only one in your life who can make you happy. Concentrate on taking care of yourself. Get to know yourself. Find a therapist/counselor that you can relate with, and talk your head off. For depression, medication is sometimes needed.

I don't know that surgery itself will solve any problems. But the weight loss will allow you to more easily indulge in any activities that you enjoyed when you were thinner. What did you enjoy doing then? What made you happy as a child?

Try to take care of yourself in all ways: physically, socially, spiritually, intellectually. Indulge yourself in a massage, or taking a class, learning something new. These take you out of yourself and open you to the opportunities out there.

I'm almost 4 months post-op and have used my weight as the blame for a lot of things. I'm a singer and so it's easy for me to blame rejection (not getting a role/part/solo) on being fat. People don't take you seriously, or think you're smart, or find it easy to bully/dislike you because of the weight you carry around. Well now that it is going away (the weight I mean), here's the test!! Now it's all up to my talent...can't blame fat butt any more.

I am by far no expert on anything , but you bring up alot of legit questions , and your not alone. But one thing I have learned in my life is if you dont or cant love yourself , how do you expect someome else too? Example a decent man. Your scheduled for surgery so thats a major plus , you will be given a chance to improve yourself in many ways , take the opportunity and run with it!!! Dont waste it with thoughts of self sabatoge, you are worth this and you can do this!! Take it from a self sabbatoger im trying my hardest to get out of it , I am my own worst enemy. I am going to try to change my whole being with this surgery my thoughts my eating habbits , everything. For once I want to be a winner. If you ever need to talk I m around feel free.

I am pre-op, too. Day 10 of the liquid protein 14-day diet. As an older woman (60's) and married, I just want to tell you that you are the only one in your life who can make you happy. Concentrate on taking care of yourself. Get to know yourself. Find a therapist/counselor that you can relate with, and talk your head off. For depression, medication is sometimes needed.

I don't know that surgery itself will solve any problems. But the weight loss will allow you to more easily indulge in any activities that you enjoyed when you were thinner. What did you enjoy doing then? What made you happy as a child?

Try to take care of yourself in all ways: physically, socially, spiritually, intellectually. Indulge yourself in a massage, or taking a class, learning something new. These take you out of yourself and open you to the opportunities out there.

Thank you so much for the advice. I so appreciate the wisdom of people older than I am - life experience counts for so much. I do definitely realize with my rational mind that being thinner doesn't guarantee a better life, that I need to work on myself toward being happier. You're suggestions are great, I'll definitely be trying them out. I believe being thinner will help my self-esteem, so I can get out there more and fulfill my emotional needs. As I am now, I shy from social events because of how I look, and that's not my true personality. I'm a Leo! I'm supposed to Shine!! lol

I'm almost 4 months post-op and have used my weight as the blame for a lot of things. I'm a singer and so it's easy for me to blame rejection (not getting a role/part/solo) on being fat. People don't take you seriously, or think you're smart, or find it easy to bully/dislike you because of the weight you carry around. Well now that it is going away (the weight I mean), here's the test!! Now it's all up to my talent...can't blame fat butt any more.

I'm a singer, too!! I've actually wondered if losing weight will affect my singing voice. Only for the better, I hope!

I am by far no expert on anything , but you bring up alot of legit questions , and your not alone. But one thing I have learned in my life is if you dont or cant love yourself , how do you expect someome else too? Example a decent man. Your scheduled for surgery so thats a major plus , you will be given a chance to improve yourself in many ways , take the opportunity and run with it!!! Dont waste it with thoughts of self sabatoge, you are worth this and you can do this!! Take it from a self sabbatoger im trying my hardest to get out of it , I am my own worst enemy. I am going to try to change my whole being with this surgery my thoughts my eating habbits , everything. For once I want to be a winner. If you ever need to talk I m around feel free.

I think a lot of my weight issues got worse because of a bad relationship, if I'm being honest. Don't get me wrong, I've always been overweight. But I feel like I just never recovered from an exceptionally horrible relationship. This terrible relationship ended years ago, and I've not dated anyone seriously since. Haven't even been on a date in probably 5 years. My self-esteem is to a point that I just don't want people to look at me. I mean, I've actually said to myself "Of course you're single. Look at you!".

I've got some numbers of counselors I want to see after my surgery. I'm not ready to really talk about my dark thoughts right now. But I know I need to, and sometimes I wonder how "in control" I am. Trying to just focus on the positive right now, I think starting counseling on these issues pre-op would just fill me with more worry because I'll be thinking of these things intentionally... IDK - I feel like anything I write on this subject just makes me sound crazy. I appreciate that you get it. Loving yourself isn't always easy. I want to change my whole being, too!! Feel free to PM me any time for you as well. have you had surgery?

No my final appt with surgeon is may 1st then off to insurance company goes everything and I sit back and patiently wait. I recently got out of a relationship in dec. It killed me, self sabatoge ??? I put on about 25lbs since then. But im still so hurt over it. Dont hide yourself after you are done with your surgery and you are comfortable, you get out there and show the world who you are. You said your a leo, so your not supposed to be a backround person, you should be front and center!! I too someday soon want to be confident again. He just took so much out of me its still so hard , but I have mourned him enough. UGHH ssssssso ooooooo hard to get back on your feet. But I have to believe we can do this.

I got back on my feet, you will too. But I haven't trusted a man since. I don't know how I'll really feel about male attention as I lose the weight... I always got it when I was late-teens/early 20s, even tho I was big then (but way smaller than I am now).

I just feel like I'm in for a helluva ride, basically! Can't wait to see where it goes...