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Not quite on schedule.

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Groovinchikin

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So, I'm about 7 pounds away from having lost 100 pounds. ONE HUNDRED. That sounds so crazy to me. I'm completely thrilled...But my surgeon doesn't seem to be. He said that I was about 15 pounds behind schedule, and that I must not be keeping up with my plan. (Keep in mind that he also just took my gallbladder out last month) That is not the case at all. I do everything I am told to do to the best of my ability. I may not get every gram of protein in every day, but I do everything I can to keep my calories low and my protein high. I exercise 3 times a week with a trainer at my University's student center. What on earth can he possibly think I can do on top of all that and a full time school load??!

 

I will admit that I had a come apart in his office in front of two residents who were shadowing him. I bawled and bawled. I know he meant to encourage me, but I honestly felt attacked. I've had serious trauma in the past with regards to being bullied over my size. That appointment put me in a very very dark place. I haven't self harmed since high school, but it took a frenzied call to my accountability partner to get me out of that mind frame. On one hand I feel like I've accomplished sooo much. On the other, I don't feel like I can ever hope to measure up to the expectations. I feel like a failure, and I feel like the sleeve will quit working for me.

 

For now I plan to do my best to stay positive and to stay on track. I am trying to remember that this journey has been for me, and me only. I can't be bothered if I don't exactly match up with his computer model. I will use the anxiety and the hurt to fuel my workouts, not my demons. I will make it to 100 pounds lost this week and buy a new dress. I will not let one quarter on the track derail me. I am stronger than that.

 

Miss Piggy always brings a smile to my face, so here is one of my favorite pieces of fan art, with excellent advice from M.P. "Never eat more than you can lift". blogentry-29670-13814461299312.jpg

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First, CONGRATULATIONS. 100 pounds is life changing. Secondly, doctors have terrible bed-side manners. Please, please, please do not spend too much time pondering his words. You have done an outstanding job. Plus, 15 pounds compared to 100...drop in the bucket. Great job for contacting your accountability partner. And, consider switching doctors. :-)

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You are so close, you can do it! I don't think there should be a schedule...if you are healthy and still losing then that should be the ultimate goal. Like you I was a victim of bullying and self harmed a lot in high school. I'm worried about how I will be after my surgery, emotionally, but I know I am strong and I can do this. Seeing that there are other people out there, like me, who are dealing (and have dealt) with the same circumstances gives me hope for my own future. Thank you for sharing!

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YOU LOST 100 POUNDS .....WHOOO HOOOOOOO GIRL !!!!!!!!!!!! AND AS FAR AS THE DOCTOR GOES ..##$#%^&**(*&^%$$##))(*&^^... THATS WHAT I GOTTA SAY TO HIM.............EBRACE YOUR VICTORY AND GO GET THAT DRESS ... I AM SOO PISSED HE MADE YOU FEEL THAT WAY AND WISH I COULD REALLY WRITE WHAT I WOULS LIKE TO SAY TO HIM....LOL... KEEP UP THE AWESOME JOB AND MAY I BE IN YOUR SHOES ONE DAY ... I AM 3 WEEKS POST OP AND YOU MY FRIEND ARE AN INSPIRATION....

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Congratulations!!! 100 lbs is amazing!!! Im sure everyone loses at different rates...dont let anyone get you down or make you feel discouraged. You should be so proud of yourself!!!

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