For the past week I have been thinking of what to write for my one year update.

Firstly,I dont regret having the sleeve as far having lost the weight and the way I am looking.It feels good to be thin even though I have loads of extra hanging skin.

But,and I am so sad that there has to be a but here...

I went into menopause at the age of 45 3 months after having the surgery.At the time my dr said it might just be because I am losing a lot of stored estrogen and the symptoms might disappear,but it didnt quite go away.I now have a period every 4 mnths or so and hotflashes,as they please.Horrible to be dealing with this now.Anyway,I am dealing with it.

I am bruised black and blue the whole time.Bruises that is clearly not casued by bumps as they are in such strange places.My bloods are all out of wack,different ones every time I have it done.The amount of pills I have to take is unreal.This would be fine if it wasnt affecting my stomach the way it does.I now have to add carafate to the PPi I am taking.As for the bruising,no one seems to know why this is happening and I am due for more tests in the next couple of weeks.The one thing that has also changed drastically is my lipid profile.My TC was never high,I had great HDL and LDL was normal.Now my HDL is super low,my LDL is super high and my Tc borders on high.Who knows how the heck that happens while losing 137 pounds?

About a month ago I started having symptoms of peripheral neuropathy.I dont want to comment on this too much as I am still inshock dealing with the burning,tingling and pain in my hands and feet.I hope this will go away with the supplements I am taking as I have no idea how one live with this indefintely without going stir crazy.

Just to top all this and make it more interesting,my neck,back and tailbone is giving me hell.I seem to be growing a hump om my upperback and the kids tell me I am bent like the moon.I have a lot of upperback and neck pain but the bad thing is I cannot atand for longer than a couple of seconds before my lower back is killing me.I can sit and I can walk,no problem.I just cannot stand.

I am extremely sad that things are not as straight forward for me as for others as it would have been nice to enjoy being at goal at this point.To have dealt with my fears about having plastics as I am almoat ready to so it I dislike my arms that much...lol.

However I am constantly trying to deal with some health fallouts at the moment.I am so scared that this will be my life now.Hands and feet on fire,a back that cause for me to have to sit down all the time.A neck that keeps me awake all night and to top that I look like I was in a bad accident or fight,all the time.

This all sounds so negative.But I might have gotten sick just from being fat if I didnt have this surgery.If only dealing with these issues werent so complex.If only there were some easy answers and fixes.I am a fixer.I am a doer.If something is wrong,fix it and most of my issues I cannot only not fix,I can hardly manage them.

Maybe in a couple of months I will find myself healthy.Painfree!Burn free!Free of bruises!Taking less than 15 pills a day.But for now I am a little fearful about my future.

And then I want to just delete this post as it isnt what I want things to be like and about.

But then I will leave it to read in a little while when things are better and the problems have been resolved.

Part 2 will talk about all the nice stuff...like wearing a size 36B bra..hehehe!And having bought a size 10,yes a size 10 broadshort, yesterday!Not all is bad and life does go on!