For as long as I can remember I was told I was beautiful with strings. I have been struggling with weight issues since I was at least 8 years old, that is about 20 years of being chubby, fat, heavy, thick, overweight, chunky, obese, or whatever unpleasant, easy to swallow, politically correct or incorrect word you want to use for it. Not only have I struggled but my weight has gone up over the last 10 years also. So many people in my life would give me the speech - you are so pretty you are so beautiful but you would be so pretty if you only lost weight. Thanks for the boost of confidence guys. That only knocked me back like 10 steps but if only you knew. (I'll go eat a cheeseburger now to feel better)

I used to be an active girl, playing sports, running around, being in the mix and then laziness and knee injury kicked in at 19 years old and then another at like 24. It was so much easier to use my knee injury as an excuse. Depression happened, life slapped me in the face and I didn't want to fight back so I ate to fight myself and punish the one person who didn't deserve it... me.

At 25 years old I lost my job and health insurance which caused me to go without for 3 years. At that point I went back to college to save my future and earn a bachelor's degree in accounting. During this period I gained more weight. I also went on diets, excersized, and lost weight, then gained it all back. Oh the Joys of Jenny Craig and dieting in general. I remember telling myself years ago that I would never be "this fat or this big" WELL HELLO WORLD I GOT HERE!!!" When I finally graduated, got a job and had health insurance again I went to the doctor and was weighed in to find myself at 272 pounds. Man was I in shock. I almost didn't believe it.

Then the airplane happened. I have to travel as a requirement for work and I was on a plane and could not buckle the darn seatbelt. I had to sit with my sweat shirt covering my midsection the whole 3 hour flight because I could not buckle THE DAMN BELT!!! I was mortified. I was afraid I would be noticed. I was sweating. I was probably suspicious looking. Heck I am surprised I didn't get frisked by the on board security person. But I made it and I vowed at that moment I would do something about it. That was when my doctor recommended weight loss surgery and I found Dr. Chau and Dr. Brolin.

I have been on this journey so far since August, 2012 and even had to start my insurance required diet appointments all over because I missed one - SO I can't stress the importance of making sure you get your behind to every single appointment enough. My last diet appointment is on March 18th and I am counting down the days.

My estimated surgery date is somewhere in Mid-May and I am soooooo excited and nervous I just can't tell you!