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I just can't SEE it!

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Groovinchikin

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So I've lost at least 70 pounds in my journey so far. I say at least because I gave up my scale for Lent and I'm not actually sure of my current weight at the moment. But with that much weight loss I can already do so many things that I wasn't able to a couple of months ago. The beautiful winter coat that I bought right after Hurricane Sandy is already so loose on me that I can easily overlap the front panels. I fit in the seats at my school's theater. The dress I wore to junior prom in high school is so loose now that it falls off of me. I have a neck, I can wear normal sized rings, I can run....the list is long. When it comes right down to it however, I feel like I'm still looking in a funhouse mirror! I feel like I look twice as big as I did when I started. I look at old pictures of myself and where other people can see a difference, I feel like I am still exactly the same. It's a discomforting feeling, knowing that you are changing to everyone else but being unable to recognize those changes in yourself. I suppose everyone who has undergone dramatic weight loss deals with this sort of body dysmorphia, but it's still a bizarre feeling. :wacko: As a costume designer, I can pretty much sketch an accurate body sketch of someone just from a page of garment measurements. So I've taken my own actor's measurements every other week since I began. Those numbers are really where I can see a difference. I can picture bodies from measurement charts and my first chart body is dramatically different for my current chart body. So for now I guess I'll have to depend on that kind of external measure to understand how my body is changing.

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Start taking pictures of yourself in the same outfit every month...then you can compare side to side...and you will see the differences for sure. 70lbs is a lot of weight! I do agree with Melissa also...if this continues seek help. Those thoughts can lead to depression and then to other things. I see a psychologist monthly (because I was a binge eater). I love going actually...good insight, someone to talk to etc. And it is always the case....where you see yourself every day so it is hard to see the changes...where as someone who might see you once a week...the changes are more prominent to them. But you have done awesome!!!

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I know just what you mean! I'm going through the same thing. When I sit in my chair in my minds eye I'm still 285 pounds! When I look in the mirror I see a smaller, thinner me, but it still freaks me out to see the new me! I was at least a size 24 W for the passed 25 years, and was up to a 26/28 when I started to lose weight this passed April. I have lost 96 pounds so far counting the 50 pounds I lost the 6 months before my sleeve, and the 46 pounds I have lost in the 4 months since my sleeve. I'm only 6 pounds from my next goal of reaching 100 pounds off. Everyday I still think, when will the weight stop coming off? When will I start to gain again like I did after all the many times I lost in the passed?

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