pre-op pondering
Hi – this ridiculously long entry really is for me to organize all the questions I’ve been having as I progress on this journey. I don’t expect answers, because in many cases it’s different for different people. I’ve been on VST for many months now, reading every experience I can. I think this has been instrumental in educating me enough that I feel comfortable proceeding with the pursuit of the sleeve. I feel I’ve learned a lot about what to possibly expect. But I’ve also learned enough to know that people’s experiences can vary greatly or be very similar. So in that spirit, I’m committing to the blogosphere my personal ponderings. I intend to revisit all these sometime post surgery and have some answers.
- Will I have to fight much with insurance to get approved? I’m working with my surgeon’s office to do the 6 month thing, and have requested all my files be sent to surgeon’s office to see how many of the 6 months have already been met. I feel like a show pony doing a tap dance – I will do whatever they want! Just approve me already!
- Once approved by insurance, when can the surgeon schedule me? Will they bump me up if I say pretty please?
- When I have my date, will my sweet husband decide he’s too scared of the risk of me doing this? I have been patiently educating this wonderful, naturally fit & athletic man about what it’s like to have a weight problem, and I believe he does understand, after many long talks , why I can’t “just try harder”….
- When I have my date will *I* get scared of the risk and freak out? I’ve read on VST that it’s common. I am reading VST every day and doing some hard core soul searching. I want to be as mentally and emotionally prepared as possible. Even so, some fear is to be expected…just hope it’s not the high BP kine, or the kine where you jump off the OR table in the gown where your butt’s hanging out and run away lol
- When I check in the hospital for surgery, will I be able to let go and not worry about how my family is doing while I’m in surgery? Will I focus on worrying what my husband will have for lunch, or will I be thinking about my stomach being cut out….on second thought, probably better to wonder what hubby is having for lunch.
- What will it be like to go under anesthetic? What will it be like to wake up? Will I say anything embarrassing? Will I sing? Will I tell jokes?
- Will the surgeon be able to do the single incision at my belly button as planned? How big will the incision be? Will my belly button ever look the same? Or will he need to do additional incisions? Can’t imagine my gi-normous stomach coming out a little bitty puka. Does he cut it up to get it out? Or fold it? Or roll it up like a yoga mat? Do I really wanna know? Glad I won’t be awake to see :]
- Will I be in much pain when I wake up? Will I be nauseous? Lord I’d rather be in pain than throw up. VST shows a wide variety of how people feel waking up. I know there are a lot of factors including how I react to the anesthesia and pain meds.
- Will I be able to walk and sip water easily? I read and read here that I should “walk walk walk, sip sip sip”. That will be my job, hope I’m good at it.
- Will each day get better and better? What will be my worst day?
- When I come home, will I be able to sleep in my bed ? Will I be exhausted? I’m exhausted all the time anyway now so maybe it won’t be much different
- Will I have difficulty with swallowing water? This has been something I’ve tried really hard to imagine and honestly it is pretty much beyond my realm of imagination. To have a hard time with a teeny sip of water….what about my own spit? Is it hard to swallow that? Will I drool? OK I’m being silly. But seriously…. Will I even have spit if I can’t drink a decent amount of water?!
- Will my incision heal nicely or will my weird-@ss skin react to the bandage or whatever doc uses. Will I get itchy? Hivey? Will I be able to take my allergy medicine?
- How long will I need pain medicine? Will it help? Will I need an acid blocker right away? Will it help?
- Will I be a slow lose or a fast loser? Honestly, doesn’t matter much to me, so long as I’m a BIG loser!
- Will my tastes change? OMG I want to lose my sweet tooth! And my Mexican food tooth!
- What will I learn about my relationship with food? I know I am already exploring this, and I want to find a counselor sooner than later. I truly believe that I am not an emotional eater. I do believe that I am a hard core food addict though. Explaining that will be another entry some time.
- How soon will I feel human again after this major surgery? How soon will I feel like going back to work? So MANY different experiences with other VST folks. This question is truly unpredictable as far as I can tell. He he he …. Oh I’d say I never want to go back to work…..cuz it’s work. But how soon will I be able to go back. Unless of course I suddenly become independently wealthy during my recovery. Even then, I’d want to go back and organize my files….
- Will I experience the “buyer’s remorse” phase like so many do? How long will it last for me?
- Will I experience the moodiness and depression some feel? I wonder…but knowing it’s a common occurrence will help me battle it if it does show up. Depression is a sneaky monster, but knowing it’s hormones is a great way to arm myself in that battle.
- Will I experience the other thing the ladies on VST sometimes talk about in regards to the hormones after surgery? Will I finally tire out my hubby insteada the other way around?
- What will it be like to finally have success in a weight loss endeavor and know I can make it long term. I know it will be work, and I know I will be embarking on a major life change. But how will it feel to know I actually have a great chance of achieving my goals? How exciting! Happy dance!
- Will I lose hair? I know many people do….understandably there’s lots of discussion about it. Take biotin, but be prepared for hair growth to increase everywhere on the body Also, Biotin helps with regrowth, not preventing loss. Eat lots of protein. Well hell, this is a motivator for sure! I know with the fresh sleeve it will be difficult to eat. But I will make damn sure what I do eat will be protein! Meh, if it falls out , it will grow back. I would embrace the added body all the little short hair would give to my maine. Snick – I hope to remember to be so flippant if/when my hair is laying in clumps in the shower drain
- Will I have loose skin? Hmmm…probably. I aim to strength train to help with this, and I hope I’m being realistic to think it won’t be major for me, but no doubt there will be some. And I hope I’m cool with it. I tell myself that right now I don’t look good dressed OR naked, so at least losing 120# I would look good dressed. But the truth is I just want to FEEL good and I need to lose significant weight to feel good. So I will take the saggy skin in whatever degree it comes. I don’t aspire to work for Victoria Secret. And who knows….maybe, just maybe, if I am able to become super athletic, over the years the saggy skin will tighten itself up a bit. Because of my raging muscles lol
- I can’t wait to be an Active Person and lead an Active Lifestyle! So I know all the things I want to do: weight training, spinning and/or cycling, long distance hiking, surfing, stand up paddle boarding, zumba, other dancing, pilates, yoga, maybe jogging??, rock climbing, horseback riding, tennis, racquet ball….I just wonder which one will be my favorite? I sooooo look forward to finding out!
- And the elephant in the room of course is – will I have complications? I don’t want to get too much into this particular topic. Suffice to say I have read the stories on VST of the folks who have had complications while healing. This is part of the soul searching I talked about at the beginning of this post. I understand there are serious risks to this very drastic surgery. It makes me a little sad to think that I have gotten to the point where I know that my quality of life and my hopes for the future are worth the risks of this surgery. But I truly believe this is the case. I will be a model patient, and I have faith in my surgeon & his team,........and the rest is in God’s hands. If I have complications, I pray He sees fit to bring me through it so I can stick around and do good things for the world.
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