2 weeks post op
So I've started full liquids, which has been helpful. Also started my vitamins and hope that will improve how I'm feeling.
I'm feeling better than I did during the first week. The complication w/ spasms in my throat are completely resolved and it helps.
However, I feel like somehow I'm in the minority on this board because I feel so conflicted about this surgery. I wish I had a better word for it. I don't regret the decision because at a starting weight of 325lbs there's just no getting around the fact that I needed help or I was going to be on my way to 400lbs quickly. I do wish I had made a different decision at times, maybe saw a therapist on a regular basis before the surgery. I was ready to make the change but that doesn't mean I suddenly developed the skills I needed to be successful at it.
I'm still not sleeping well, (i used to be an 8 hour a night person, now I have to take a pill and it's a stuttering 6-7). Physically I'm healing just fine. Mentally, I feel a mess. I'm still crying and getting overwhelmed at times. I wonder if it will ever go away. I've bothered my whole support system over this repeatedly and I can't tell you how much of a benefit they've been for me. I wish I didn't have to burden them with this.
I wish I was further out than I am and that I had a clue if I managed to get my even keel back. I wish I could say I missed the food, but I'm just not sure it's the food specifically, I'm not craving burgers or a meal. I guess I'm just stricken by the magnitude of the decision I made and it overwhelms me at times.
I'm scheduled to see a therapist next week and I'm hoping I can get the help I need to feel like myself again.
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