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Relationship Lost

NessaPooh

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I've only had a few fears about going though the whole VSG process, all of them were reserved for life after surgery. Was I going to lose my hair? Will I still be able to have a fun night out with friends? The dreaded loose skin...

 

I didn't count on having my relationship go directly in the crapper and all before I even got the surgery.

 

After nearly 6 years of seeing a self professed chubby chaser, I naively thought that what he'd be understanding about everything. That I was extremely unhappy about my size and needed this to change. His first response was one of assurance that I was sexy the way that I was and there was no need for me to change.

 

Once he saw that was pretty serious about going though with this the reponse was increasingly negative. "You know I don't like skinny chicks" "I don't know how I'm going to feel about you after this" "I'm not going to be attracted to you". Oh silly me, I thought he loved me for me.

 

Long story short, 3 weeks ago one evening after I had cooked one of his favorite meals, baked a cheesecake for him (I hate cheesecake) banged his brains out, ran his bath (all things I love doing for the guy I love) we get into a little joking tiff about certain moments where his behavior was a little off over the past year. At least it started as a joke, until he started acting defensive. Red flag. So I didn't fly off the handle, oh no, I calmly said "I'm tired of you treating me like I'm stupid" and walked out. He finishes up in the bath and comes out and says "OK, OK, I screwed some chick" "It wasn't anything, it was just sex"

 

GTFO here with that BS.

 

I can't say that I was shocked but I'm angry that I didn't follow my first mind when it was screaming at me.

 

I'm frustrated that I have to go though this surgery alone now as well. I'm glad that I know now so I can stop wasting valuable time on someone who obviously did not value me enough to be honest, or better yet, to not creep around behind my back.

 

I'm a little concerned that I'm not laying in bed in my PJ's with a bowl of ice cream (ok a few bowls of ice cream) or plotting some diabolical revenge senario. It's really unsual for me. Although I did briefly have the urge to throw my cat on his face and hope that his eyes where gouged out.

 

Good riddance B)

 

 



11 Comments


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I'm sorry this happened to you. This past year, I found out my hubby of 16 years was cheating and he abandoned me when I was starting my 6 month pre-surgery diet. Almost a month later, he tries to come back but I said no way. I have a new man now and he'll get to enjoy the new me :D

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I can't believe the nerve of some of people. I'm glad you have someone new in your life and show that cheater the door when he came crawling back. Takes a strong person to say no more. :)

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WOW I am sorry that something like that happened before such a major milestone in your life where support is needed! BUT that could just be more "dead" weight you had to shed so that you can really fly lighter after your surgery. If he didn't recognize the jewel inside of you good riddance and let it be motivation to work that sleeve and get fine as hell!!! That is the best revenge living a good or even better life after they are gone honey.

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Better you find out now so that you can start making necessary adjustments. That is one of my fears. A guy that I was dating asked me not to get surgery! It was almost offensive. When I went to the psych eval, the therapist explained that there are some people who would rather you stay larger because in some way or another, it makes them feel better. You are doing what you need to do for yourself...and that is all that matters! Good riddance!

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Sorry that you are having to deal with someone who is small minded and inconsiderate. Do you boo and you will be the one who comes out on top after all is said and done! Good Luck and God Bless!

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No looking back! And no turning to that bowl of ice cream; it'll only make you feel worse in the long run. He'll be sorry he lost someone so strong and beautiful.

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It's probably best to just keep it moving and never look back, you seem smart, you'll do fine. I am a married lady but my hubster wasn't really 100% on board with this surgery and I was mostly on my own, he hasn't given me a lot of support with this other than obvious things like picking me up, taking me to appointments and whatnot and I'm sure a lovely lady like yourself has a friend or two you can count on for a ride should you need it.

Emotionally, this site has been really helpful for me, I get to talk to other people who relate on a deeper level. I love my husband and in some ways we are really close, but his weight problem is not NEARLY as severe as mine, and I think the man just doesnt get it. So, not to make it about me or anything, but I just say this to let you know, even though it doesnt always appear this way, I lot of us are far more isolated than it appears.

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