Well today had my 2 post op visit with surgeon. Lost another 10lbs, 27lbs total since surgery. Doc asked me how I was doing and seemed disappointed that I wasn't elated at having lost more weight. I told him that I am happy about the weight, but I'm concerned about my health at this point. After trying different types of protein drinks and not finding any that I could really tolerate, except this one that has a very high sugar content, I've given up trying. Instead, I try to get my protein in from food; although I'm still not getting enough in to meet my daily nutritional requirements. Most of the time of feel very weak and Doc says that he thinks I'm not getting enough water in. He is right, I never cared for water and now I hate it even more. Still I've got to work on this water thing because dehydration is probably the reason why I feel weak, so the doc thinks (which I agree). Doc suggested adding Mio to water to see if that helps; so like most suggestions I receive I went out and bought some. The problem is I'll get the stuff, but if I don't like it I stop using it ... equals a waste of money. Doc asked if I thought another endoscopy procedure would help. I told him that I was eating better than I was the first time I had this procedure so I didn't know. Most days it's like a rollercoaster, this day a good eating day, the next day or two not good at all. I need to add exercise to the plan, which I have not. The weakness I feel on most days has made this a little more difficult to motivate myself into doing it. Still making a plan to do something. Currently I've been at the same weight for more than a week. A STALL. Although the scale hasn't moved, I definitely do see some body changes e.g. neck and face seem smaller, chest area is smaller, wrist and fingers smaller (bracelets and rings just slide off). I've even gotten a few looks of admiration if you know what I mean. I think if I just step up the water and get some exercise going maybe I can break the stall.

I'm not at the point where I can say I'm totally happy with my decision to have this surgery. This has been quite a transition for me. I had to quit so many things at one time. I still don't feel back to normal. I get a little frustrated because most people whose post I read that had their surgery the same day as mine or even after, seem so far ahead - maybe not necessarily weight wise, but feeling back to normal. Doc says it's taking me a little longer than some, but nothing out of the ordinary. I have learned/noticed that everybody's body is dffierent and therefore everyone's journey is different as well. Mine is mine.

Oh yeah a little note about work. So it's been like 3 weeks since I returned to work. Like I mentioned, usually I'm exhausted when I get home, body aches everything. I have a hard time eating while at work. I do better when I'm home because I have a wider selection of food, etc. So definitely need to do more work on this. The other thing that I noticed is when I'm under stress (work or any stress really), those are the days that I have the most trouble. I try to keep my stress level down, but difficult to do since I have a stressful job. Lately my boss has been getting on my last nerve. What I have found myself doing is just saying "ok" to everything; almost like "whatever, do what you want." I'm just doing it because I don't want to engage in any lengthy back and forth discussions with anyone. Yeah, I'm being a wimp, but it's just not worth it. I figure when I really need to address something I will, not in my personality not to; however, I've decided to pick my battles cause it's just not worth the stress.

This weekend, I went to a club meeting for an organization that I belong to. The club is ordering some shirts for everyone to wear at certain events. The person ordering the shirts said that because the shirts only came in men sizes, that woman should order smaller sizes. The person placing the order ordered a size small for herself and we are about the same size now, so I ordered the same. Besides I figure by the time I have to wear the shirt e.g. 7 mos from now, I'll be even smaller so I was trying to plan in advance. We were also told to make sure of our shirt sizes because if the shirt didn't fit, we would have to pay the additional cost of returning it and they may not have the shirt in stock. So when the order was prepared, an email went out to confirm sizes for everyone in one email. Would you believe it, one of the guys comes up to me and says, I see you ordered a small, you may need to rethink that because I know your not a small. At first I was stunned he said this and somewhat insulted. Then I looked at him and asked why did it matter to him what size I ordered since he wasn't the one who had to pay for my shirt anyway. Still after he went away, I changed the shirt size to medium, just in case. Boy am I praying by then that I will actually wish I had gotten the small after all, but I figure I would rather have it too big than too small. Still there is always someone out there who just has to give you their opinion of you, whether solicited or not.

Well that's it for me this month. Let's see how next month stacks up.