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Post Op 6 Days and Feeling Vulnerable

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juny

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Since May I've been preparing to do this. I did all the preop hoops that are jumped through. Feb 5 came and I had surgery. During the process I felt confident about my choice. I didn't seem to be like everyone else. I don't really have an ideal goal weight for one. I wanted to be able to feel confident about meeting people, maybe dating and starting a family if I'm lucky. I thought this surgery would help change that. It's hard to feel like you can be loved when you don't feel like you can really recommend yourself and say you're good enough. I'm wondering if I did this for the right reasons, does it matter since it's done?

 

Not feeling 100% since surgery probably isn't helping my mood. My mom says once I get back to my routine and properly incorporate stuff I should be fine. Feeling overly emotional and vulnerable. And I'm still left wondering if I did the right thing.

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Well...it IS done now so whatever the reasons we will make the best of our tool that we have in our wt. loss journey. I feel good now but still know that I have the demons inside....I have actually bought a bag of chocolate candy twice ....eaten a few pc. and thru it away. So made at myself for those weak moments. I know it is an issue that I have to work thru. Good luck with yours...we WILL succeed!

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Juny, you have to remember that this is a LIFE change. I myself have been sleeved for 2 weeks now and I have had my moments of uncertainty but you know what? I cant wait to be healthy and be able to just feel plain good! Your goals are very normal ones. Make small goals for yourself at first. Say maybe 10-15 pound for the next 4 weeks. So if you surpass that great! Just take it a day at a time. I have to tell you the second weeks is a huge change in how you feel and how you think. I have totally noticed that in me. I cant wait to work out! ME work out?! Ok, work out and excited have never been in the same sentence in my life! LOL....Just keep up what your doing and we will have little trip ups along our journey but we will succeed. I believe in YOU. Good luck to you.

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I have been sleeved about three weeks and it gets better! I felt very down and questioned my decision for a few days myself but as the days go on it got better. I don't think there is a magical cure but as you feel better and can eat more things I think you will start to feel better and not regret your decision.

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Like everyone else said, its not easy those first few weeks. But it does get better.

I am 1 month out and I feel wonderful. You will to,just gotta get past that first hump of recovery:-) Good luck and congrats on your surgery.

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Thanks, I know ultimately it was the right decision but its hard knowing you can't go back. I'm not far enough forward to know how that feels. Just going to give it time.

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Hi, Juny. I know exactly what you mean. At my pre-op class they shared a list of reasons why not to have this surgery, and I was like, "oh, crap... that was my list of why I wanted to have this surgery." You know what, though, I happen to think some of those reasons are perfectly valid, and have their roots in the right reasons. One of the items on the not a good reason list was "Because I want a boyfriend." Hell yeah I want a boyfriend, and then a husband, and then a family of my own. I know why they say not to make this your reason. It's because they have no control of your personality, and there's a chance you're just a horrible person or totally undateable, and surgery won't change that. If you're unsatisfied with your ability to get a boyfriend post-op, then it can lead to feelings of defeat, and that can lead to slipping in your meal plan, etc. I think for the fully informed, though, this is a great reason to want surgery. We're not fools. We know results are not guaranteed and and that losing weight doesn't magically reveal the number of your future spouse underneath a roll of fat or something. I had this surgery because I want my life, I want my happiness, and the only way to have access to the possibility of those things is to have my health. I'm not going to lie to myself. If I knew I could eat brownies and pasta every day and still have everything I want, plus feel great in my body, plus not be in pain, plus not be inviting a plethora of health issues, I'd be face down in it every day. However, tragically, that is not the case, so I choose this. Health is the answer to my happiness and fulfullment of desires in my life, and so I choose health.

Regarding goal weight, I feel the same. I picked a random number, and that number is higher than the chart tells me my ideal weight based on my height. I did this for a few reasons. First, I'm certain I'll have excess skin to contend with, which will weigh something. Second, I think I must be more dense than other people. I don't look as large as other people at my weight. Third, the number isn't going to matter to me. How I feel and how I look are the goals. I feel guilty sometimes, because I can't really picture losing all the weight. I would thrilled if I lost enough weight to be one of those beautiful curvy, voluptuous women like Christina Hendricks, or Adele. Do I think I'll actually look like that? Not so much, but my point is, if I get to a manageable where I can dress cute, and my health stats classify me as healthy, I will consider myself at my personal goal.

I went through and read your blog entries and some of your posts. How do I say this without sounding like a weirdo? I really like you. You just seem cool and like someone I'd be friends with in real life. I relate to your thought processes, we're near the same age (I'm 33) and place in life, and you're intelligent. I tossed you a friend request. I'd enjoy keeping up with your journey as we go through this.

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I felt the same way as did so many others! You will start to feel better soon and realize you made the right decision. Hang in there ~ everyday gets better. Hugs to you : )

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You can't put off your life because your are fluffy. Sure you are changing and you will... unfluff ;-) (Me too Me too!!! :-) ) You can't keep telling yourself that after I lose weight I will date.... sure we can't do a heck of a lot of things like go on a roller coaster or fit in a stupid booth (myself of course on both of these counts and maybe not you :) ) but it only leads to putting yourself down more and more. I didn't get the surgery yet. I know I will feel similar about most things you have listed... I already told my boyfriend I will probably cry my eyes out infrustration of not being able to eat what I want. My comfy blanket ripped off of me! I may be a basket case... but please do not put off your life because of your fluff. If you meet the right guy you will find him fluff or no fluff and he will love you either way as he should! You are only beating yourself up and you are your own worst critic. Don't put off your life for shame... odds are you will always find something get annoyed at yourself (as we all do) for so instead lift yourself up and don't wait to live your life until this is perfect.. or that is perfect. We were born unperfect. Perfection will never happen. Find reasons every day to love yourself. HUGS!

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