Really struggling today, this bronchitus of the airways is terrible, you dont coff, you splutter and gasp to breath and my throat is so soar too.

Anyway, health report over, i will recover and i need to because today out of the blue i received a letter from my heamatologist with my blood test reults.

Hubby has hotfooted it to the hospital to hand the letter in to my surgeon, who will be ringing me next week, well my nurse will, and as she doesn't work mondays it will be tuesday.

The blood tests show that i have got the lupus coagulant in my blood, and rather than my blood not clotting quick enough, this messes with the test and my blood actually is more likely to clot too much.

I can have my op but will need to be on anti clotting meds for 2-3 weeks after surgery.

I need to now see a rhumatologist about the lupus but have to be referred by my gp, passing the book yet again.

My 80 year old mom has decided to go into a nursing home after another infection where she ended up in hospital.

This is going to keep me busy mentally over the next month or so and a lot of physical work by my husband, our two sons and hubbies brother to empty moms bungalow.

It is very difficult when this has to be faced in life, it is something that she never wanted or me, but she needs 24 hour nursing care and i cant give it to her, so a nhs funded nursinf home is the only answer.

I think i am too ill and emotionally drained to be excited or otherwise about my op at the moment.

I had it in my head to have it in march, no later, but seeing as they only do 2 ops per week on one day a week am hoping they havnt scheduled march yet and i have time to get better and start my 2 week pre op diet before march begins, ready for the first date in march.

I went to my support group last night and they are a brilliant bunch of people who are cheering me on, and i know i am very blessed to have them, and i have a group of christian friends who are praying for me and supporting me too.

I think i will only believe it is happening when im actually wheeled into the operating room, lol.

Did i say, i had my hair cut 2 weeks ago, really short with a short fringe and spiky and everyone says it makes me look younger, and i love how easy it is to do.

I have had a pic taken of me with a white furry hat that looks like a dalmation head and everyone says i looked nice in it so for the first time in years i have my face on my facebook account. Not ready dor the body yet though.

I always said when my face was thinner that i would have my hair cut and have surprised myself by having it cut now. I have even begun to wear make up when i go out and its made me realise how much i had given up on myself, so i feel younger as well as looking younger.

I have told hubby to smarten himself up too and have bought him some younger looking clothes so we match more, dont want my man wearing bobbly flecees-jacket and jumper when he takes me out, he has spruced up well, i have a well dressed handsome silver fox on my arm now, just wait while i loose my weight, i think his little belly will have to go, lol.

I am determined to do all i should to loose the weight healthly and to maintain it, i dont want to be putting any weight lost back on, i know it can happen and am aware that the sleeve is a tool that only works when you use it correctly, and i will need to deal with comfort eating and weak will and eating chocolate or puddings to comfort me.

I have seen how the sucsessful people work at it, and i want to be one of those people, i want the new me and the new life it will bring.

I was talking to a lady last night who has had the bypass and she told me that what she eats now is the same that a thin woman would have always eaten instead of the huge portions she used to eat that made her 27 stone = 27 x 14 lbs.

That made sense, the smaller stomach helps us to eat what our bodies need instead of what our stomachs demand, cant wait to get rid of the greedy part of my stomach and work with my new smaller stomach.

I will update next week and really hope it will all be good news now, bye for now, keep up the good work, because You are worth it, xxxx