I figured I would create this blog so as not to hog up space posting in various topic areas. I also wanted a place that I could just write and record my feelings about my WLS journey. Since being sleeved on 12/26, this has been one of the most difficult medical related situations that I have ever encountered. You read all the information, you follow posts on the site, your doctor is constantly talking to you - along with his entire team, you talk to others who have had the surgery, you go to all the required meetings scheduled by the nutritionist and medical practice; or as required by the insurance company and STILL, nothing really prepares you for what your journey will be like post surgery. Pre-surgery I stayed on my doctor's office and insurance company to approve this surgery. I wanted the weight off, I needed the weight off, I was miserable with the weight. I was also very disappointed because I had had a prior weight loss surgery e.g. lapband and it was dismal failure. At most I think I lost 30lbs. When I saw my DIL and how well the sleeve surgery "looked" on her, I knew I had made a mistake with the band, but at the time I thought "oh well" I'm stuck with what I have. Over time I began looking into the options regarding revision. My first physician who placed the band in wasn't budging in considering a revision - so I got another doctor. At first the new doc was a bit resistant, but after 6-7 months of no progress, he finally approved the procedure; and so did my insurance company. Of course I was ready to self-pay if they didn't. A loan, anything, I was desperate. Surgery was scheduled on 12/26 and off I went to my new me...

Post-op things seemed to be progressing well during my initial hospital stay, overnight - except for my experience with the overnight nurse assigned to monitor me throughout the night. He just was not helpful and would not give me pain medication in timely manner. I made such a fuss and actually threatened to leave the hospital if someone didn't help me. Finally, some pain meds and off to sleep I went. Needless to say that I was so interested in getting out of there that the minute my doctor asked me the following morning if I was ready to leave the hospital, I said absolutely. I had gotten up early that morning and was actually feeling pretty good, probably all that fluid they were pumping in me via the IV. I was able to wash up on my own and get dressed, so I thought...ok this is good. I couldn't drink water at that point or anything else, but I was even ok with that. I wasn't feeling hunger at this point, I just wanted to go home.

Home - this is where the journey really gets interesting... After about two days, I still couldn't tolerate liquids - especially anything cold, so I mainly subsisted on hot tea and popicles. Periodically I would try to drink one of the many varieties of protein drinks I had purchased in advance of surgery, but they were all horrible and I couldn't get them down anyway. I think for the first 2 weeks, I was literally starving myself to death. Finally it got to a point where I couldn't keep anything down. By the time I got to my 1st follow-up appointment with the doc, I felt weak and confused e.g. what the heck is going on confused. What happened, why am I feeling this way confused. I asked my doc and he said... the good news you have lost 17lbs isn't that great! Uh yeah, but I'm starving and puking anything I try to take in and I'm not taking anything in. I wanted to lose weight in the worst way, but I didn't want to starve myself to death. He said, it will get better - and if I was still vomiting after a week or so, call him - an endoscopy procedure may be in order. He sends in the Nutritionist who reviews my meal plan with me. What meal plan?!, but ok - I go over what I'm supposed to eat, what I'm not and some food options to consider. As I was leaving the office, one of the Physician's Assistants who had been helping me push to get the surgery approved, said quietly on the side - don't wait to call the office back if I was still vomiting, no need to suffer he said. Boy was I suffering. In fact the following day, I called the doctor's office and said I can't take it anymore, they have to do something. I could barely get out of bed. The following day I was scheduled for the endoscopic procedure. The doc who performed the procedure said that he saw some blockage from scar tissue, so he inserted a balloon that would help stretch the opening of the stomach so I could get something in. What a relief I thought...

Following the procedure I was able to get fluid in, not much but at least broth, soup, more popicles, hot tea. In fact one day I actually ate some shrimp and started buying different foods that I could try e.g. mushy's. I guess that wasn't the best idea, the shrimp stayed down - but some of my other selections e.g. shellfish did not cooperate at all; even though I would chew this stuff until it was water. Finally, I got tired of trying to eat and just stuck with broth, creamy soup, popsicles and hot tea until even the thought of these foods turns my stomach. Don't want to forget all the pill popping e.g. vitamins, calcium, antacid, gas x, additional Vit D... Anyway the next round has been gas and diaherra (which is still the case). A couple of days, I couldn't make up my mind whether to go to the bathroom, vomit or both - sometimes it is both. Oh yes, i forgot this whole time I've been so weak, that I could not work, I live alone with minimal support or encouragement - so depression began to creep in; until it was so full blown that I asked my PCP to put me back on depression meds, that I had been off for the last year.

So now, 4 weeks and 3 days into this journey, I'm sitting here wondering exactly how am I feeling. I have been able to add a couple of more foods to my list of what I can tolerate. Yesterday I was finally able to drink water and drank a whole bottle. I am also slowly beginning to tolerate drinking juice from the fridge; although slowly and very cautiously. My sleeve seems to be "teaching" me what it will accept and what it won't - it is very, very particular and any misstep on my part will be dealt with immediately and painfully. In fact, if I get ahead of myself, I'll be right back to clear liquids if not the same day, the following day. I still haven't developed a taste for protein drinks, but there is one that I can tolerate more than others. I'm sure my doc would say it has too much sugar in it, but it's either that one or none. After 2-3 weeks of practically starving, I'm just glad I'm able to tolerate anything close to protein. I definitely don't overdo anything - too scared and too tired of being sick and too weak to move beyond the bed, bathroom and kitchen (just to look around, cause eating is limited). So is it getting better? Well I have my good days and bad days, today seems to be going ok - yesterday too. Today I had a boiled egg. Wow - who would have ever thought that eating a boiled egg would be a major thing in someone's daily life. To be continued.