I have brought you all through my mother and childhood issues, and then my comfort food needs with my own children's issues.... but my TOP weight hit after I sold my business and started working for the boss from HELL!!!

I know we all have had them - and trust me, LD (the boss with name change to protect the innocent (me)), was not my first experience with dealing with a difficult boss, but I can assure you - LD reached new limits - and pushed me over the edge to my highest weight of 259.6 lbs (I'm 5'3")!!

I sold my business to help me destress - as I realized that while I may be all that and a bag of chips, I couldn't do it all :-)!! With my kids diagnosis, and all the other chaos, my husband and I decided to sell my business. Luckily, my top client wanted to buy me out - including transitioning all of my fabulous employees! It was no task taken lightly, but I promise, I just needed to do this for my sanity and my health.... so I thought!

So - I sell my business to my number one client, who I'd been working for as a consultant, and boom - they have a reorg... and I start reporting to LD - who has a chip on her shoulder - and is very jealous of me (it took me over a year to see it was her not me)! She slowly but surely started taking away my duties, started berating me (cussing at me, telling me how worthless I am, telling me what a failure I am to the company, etc. etc.). It took me about 6 weeks to realize what she was doing...she was trying to push me out! So, I went to HR, the CEO (who bought my company less than a year earlier), and other VPs to plead my case. Guess what? They ALL took my side, but couldn't stop her - seriously - they are afraid of LD too!

By Christmas time, I was a mess.... I have NEVER been depressed before - EVER!!! My mom came into town, took one look at me - and told me I needed help (as in medications)... and I hadn't even told her what was going on! I was having a nervous break down! I cried all the time, I didn't move off the couch for ANYTHING (kids, dogs, nothing) - I felt helpless! My doctor said, "you have got to snap out of this... you are a smart, successful woman. You have started 4 different successful companies (I had an embroidery business for a while that I sold, consulting company, and software development company - all successful... and I still have a company where I buy and rent houses), and have so much going for you." But I couldn't see it! LD took me to my lowest point - she bullied me beyond return. I even went to my lawyer to see if there was something I could do - but there wasn't because of various right to work laws that I won't get into. So...I was put on XANAX, sleeping pills, and Lexapro. I drank alot of wine - and guess what? I ATE!!! ALOT!!!! For 3 solid weeks, I checked out of life!

The CEO finally saw the light and moved me to work for a VP that I LOVED - I worked for this VP early on in my career - and he taught me the way to lead! Funny how it all came full circle! But, that meant a "demotion" - same salary (with no raise allowed for about 10 years) - but a new title and no "power". I took it! I mean I love this VP AND I can keep my salary! At this point in my life, I really don't care about titles and promotions and all that climbing the ladder stuff... been there done that! I am really starting to see that balance is the key - work/life balance - never knew it before - but I'm starting to appreciate it now! I had to force myself into that relationship (work/life balance) - and it has been a rocky road getting there. I feel so much better mentally now (no more XANAX, sleeping pills or Lexapro)!

It's been a year now since I made that move - and on 1/1/12 - I was only 2.6 lbs lighter than I was at my highest weight!! Not because I didn't lose weight in the previous year being out from under LD - but because I lost the weight - and regained it! After I moved to VP and away from LD, I went on a vegan only kick... I loved it and I felt so healthy. I lost about 35 lbs... then BOOM!!!!

My grandfather (whom I'm VERY VERY VERY close to) needed heart surgery... my whole family came for the summer to stay with me (my mom, aunt, grandparents, and cousin - and brother for a bit). I spent 6 weeks at the hospital - every day! I won't get into the specifics - but needless to say - I ate hospital food or out every meal during this time - and turned to comfort food!

So while LD was out of my life, I found another crisis, and food to comfort me! Work was going well - I was just upset and stressed about my grandfather. The good news is... at 92, and two major heart surgeries, he is back on the golf course and doing great!!!

As I write these blogs - I am beginning to see where my pattern is... crisis=food! So now I just need to figure out why that is, and what to do about it!

More reflection and thought on that coming up!