So I only have 14 more full days until my surgery (January 30th is my scheduled day). I am getting nervous about my liquid diet which is supposed to start on the 23rd. I have feelings that I might cheat or that I will be a total b***h. The latter I know will be true no matter what. I've decided that I'm going to do no carbs starting tomorrow. I think this will help me be successful on my liquid diet. For some reason my dr. only requires one week pre op liquid diet.

I think I am ready for this major life change. I haven't lost any weight from the time I started this whole process. I think I actually gained 8 pounds. I am not too worried about it because my mental state has had some significant changes. As for my binge eating disorder, I believe it is under control. For me, awareness, was all it took. I wasn't aware I had a problem before I went to the psychologist. After I became aware of the problem, and admitted that I binge I haven't had an episode since. I also practice mindful eating half of the time, which is better than none of the time. I feel more relaxed. I feel less anxious. I think if I continued to go to the psychologist and do slow changes the weight would come off slowly, eventually.

Things that aren't perfect...I definitely eat too much sodium. I eat too much sugar. I need not to eat fast food at all. In comparison to before, I was eating fast food everyday, and sugar all day. It is a vast improvement, but still needs more.

I can't wait for after my sleeve when I don't have those cravings and can actually focus on eating healthy. Even more so, I can't wait until the weight falls off and I can be more active again. I am probably one of the few that love exercise. I love feeling strong. I love feeling like I accomplished something.

I have all these things on my list I want to do and accomplish.

I also don't have the "last supper" syndrome that I used to do every time I started a new diet. My husband, on the other hand, is suffering from this syndrome knowing that his life is about to change too. He has been buying basically everything fried and bad for you...I think he is trying to fatten up before all of this or maybe he is stressed out. I'm not sure, but I'm glad I'm not the one buying all the bad food.