well,I took the advice of everyone that said relax and enjoy the holiday.I added carbs and enjoyed the good food,the wine and the company!

I lost 3 pounds in the past 3 weeks.HOWEVER,my hair started falling out again like crazy.I mean I flooded the bathroom this morning when I didnt notice my hair blocking the shower drain...lol

Obviously my proteins for the past couple of weeks must have been way too low.Having said that,I have been wanting to test my total protein for a while now as I have some signs of not absorbing enough protein.It might be a matter of not spreading it out enough during the day.Will urgently have to look into that because at 10 months out this is now freaking me out a little.

At the moment I am 6 pounds from goal.There is still way too much fat on my stomach and my thighs so I will drop my goal with 10 pounds.Will also take my time with losing this as I do not plan on cutting back my calories as drastic as before.I was eating around 1500 on holiday and felt energetic and my skin looks better.Having added the carbs have taken care of my constipation issues and I dont have this constant mild belly ache I've had since surgery.

My kids are constantly saying things like "mom,when you came to fetch me at gymnastics I thought you were someone else" or "mommy,you are so skinny now" this feels so great and I have started looking at myself in the mirror for the first time in many many years.I really dislike the fact that I have so much loose skin and a lot of wrinkles but I am starting to see me a little better.I dont always look fat to myself anymore.Sometimes when I walk past shop windows I notice myself skinny and sometimes By the next window pane I see the old me.Being very body dismorphic I suppose this will take time.

Lately I have been wondering how I will get the courage to go for plastics.I am blessed with the finances (have set up a plastics fund years ago that is so big now I can do a trip around the world with it..lol) but lack the courage.I am petrified of anasthetic and am actually a real coward.I feel ashamed of this when I read how some people really want to go for plastics but cannot afford it.Plastics in the UAE is a very dicey business as you cannot see before and after pics or dont ever really know how good the surgeons are as it is a very hush hush business.People often rather go abroad to do it but I cannot see myself being brave enough to do this.Anyway,maybe I will wait till summer and drag the whole family off to some strange country to have this done.Or maybe I will somehow become brave and do it here.I see that dr Diamond of the tv program is a regular visiting surgeon now,should maybe go and see him..lol

My surgeon really wants his patients to do plastics as he says his experience have taught him that in the long term,people that did the plastics tend not to regain much.The reason Im thinking of this is that in order to body sculpt you still need some fat.A friend that reached goal (her goal not surgeons goal) and exercised like crazy had too little body fat for them to fix her butt without implants.she came out smooth but without any curves or a butt.The weight of the excess skin of arms,legs,full body lift and boobs were less than 2 pounds.The dr did say he really wished she had a little more body fat he could have worked with.I will go for a consult with a reconstructive guy just for the heck of it when I have lost 6 more pounds to see what he says about this.

Anyway,I am yet to start exercizing seriously.I still play squash twice a week and do pilates reformer though.When I stop being so lazy I will go and train with the personal trainer that has been paid upfront 4 months ago already..lol

Life is good in lalaland and we're having the mildest winter in the 11 years I've been here.Now that I can wear cute winters clothes,it is 00:50 in the morning and I am sitting on my balcony without a jacket...lol

God is good all the time and I am blessed beyond measure.I thank Him every day for this surgery that has given me back my life after so many years of failure and self loathing for my lack of self control.