Gosh where shall I start? I was given the opportunity to represent my bariatric surgeon and his facility by having an interview and be photographed by photographer Bob Cascerelli. Not sure how to spell his name but sounds something like that. This all transpired on December 4th. I was so nervous I felt like I was rambling on while being interviewed by the hospital media department. They all said I did well and the photos came out good. I beg to differ thou. I have yet to see either one lol. Im praying that I dont look or sound like some ebonic fool. I will keep you posted on that when it becomes available to me. Lets also pray that it does look and I sound decent since all the hospital facility will be seeing this video. If not, all my 15 years of an employee there shall come to a screaming halt! I'll just die of embarrassment!! LOL

So Ive been feeling kinda bummed out. When dont I is the question. The month of December seems a bit harder for me, I lost my father December 7th, 2003. It feels like it was just yesterday. I also have those fears of not losing weight and staying a full-figured woman for the rest of my life. I tell ya, my mind is gonna be the end of me!

I weighed myself today since I wont have a doctor's follow-up visit until February. I still refuse to get on the scale regularly/routinely and just have myself weighed every 6th of the month. I dont want to obesse with the scale nor do I want to let it dictate my life and mind. The mirror on a daily basis reminds me of my weight and the way I look. The magic number today is 170! It's been four months and Im averaging 6-9 pounds a month of weight loss. Im praying that by May I will be at 125. I was wearing a size 18/20 pants and a 1x blouse. I am currently a size 14 pants (I say the pants are snug but my friends say its still baggy on my ass) and a size large blouse. I can honestly say that I dont see what everyone else sees. I get compliments all the time on the progress Im making yet I cant seem to see it for myself. I guess not only does my body have to adjust to my changing appearance but my mind also has to adjust to the image I see in mirror (still a chubby girl).

I am eating the lean cusine dinners, usually under 300 calories,I'll usually have a hard boiled egg and a cup of coffee or I'll have a rice cake in the morning with a triangle of cheese (laughing cow). Actually someone told me today that their intake of protein that may help me is making chorizo (mexican sausage) and a can of pinto beans combined in a pan. Though I did wonder if the chorizo would be to greasy, protein there is alot of to help with the daily requirement. Im eating watermelon, almonds, and yogurts when I have a sweet tooth or need some clutch at that moment. My intake of food is still about 1/2 a cup to 1 cup of food all depending on the food. Im still popping all my vitamins and the intake of water remains the same, about 20oz. Ive noticed that I also feel cold most of the time compared to always feeling warm/hot/personal summers that I would have going on. I have noticed that my hair is thinning out but nothing to cause concern. Im at fault, my intake of protein is not where it should be. My smell and taste buds have not returned to normal and everything smells or tastes different to me still. Ugh!!! Do I regret my surgery? NOT EVEN THE SLIGHTEST! I wont make this blog a long one, kinda feeling emotionally drained today.

December 4th-170 pounds

Oh and most importantly, here is my December picture. The outfit is actually what I wore for the interview and photoshoot.