I'm in puerto Vallarta, Mexico. Hopefully, and if everything goes well, in less that 12 hours I will have the VSG.

I'm very nervous. It is a huge change. I'm afraid of dying, not for me, but for those I love. I would never want to make my mom or sister suffer, but I have deprived them of a life with me because I'm always depress in my house, or of feeling ashamed of my weight.

I know recovery will be painful, but I hope and pray to God this goes well and I can handle everything with strength and peace.

I know once I'm awake from surgery, it won't mean everything is perfect. I already had a few surgeries in the past and complications happened about 2 weeks after. So whomever is reading this and believe in the power of prayer, please send some this way. I will forever thank you.

I'm having this surgery because I'm tired of seeing the best years of my life go by, and I don't do nothing about it. I'm tired of all the struggles, I'm afraid of my diabetics getting worse, I'm tired of being tired, feeling hopeless in a room isolating myself.

I've suffer several emotional disorders due to my obesity and my fear of being seen like this. But is time to change my life and embrace this new opportunity.

I've decided to do this journal to keep track of all the changes. I want this to be about me. I'm doing this for me but also for my family because I want to give them the best of me, and I never want to forget that they were my most important motivation.

This is one of the hardes decisions I have made in my life, there is nothing easy about this surgery. I will have to find the strength to say goodbye forever to many foods that were nothing but addictive and unhealthy. I have to to this the right time this time.