I finally went to a support group meeting last night. I had this crazy dream that I was just released from the hospital and I felt great. So great I didn't realize that I had the surgery and I ate something.... I wasn't suppose to and got a huge leak, that was when woke up. Oh no! What do I do now?

So, talking about it with the support group really helped. The people were so warm and friendly. Unfortunately, when I told Banner that I was going to Scottsdale Healthcare support group meetings they were not happy. I promised that I would attend a Banner support group at least once a month. How I am going to be able to do this, I don't know.

It's crunch time. Dec 7 I have an EGD, Dec 12 will be doing my Pre- op labs/EKG etc... Dec 19 will be the education class and I will just need the surgical consent from the primary MD and I can schedule my surgery. Wow.

I think I need to see someone to talk about why I am so scared about changing my life, because my life will forever be changed. Is it a fear of the unknown? A fear that I won't be invisable? Fear of change itself? Or, what if I am beautiful? What will happen then? Yep, I need to talk to someone.