Things Have Changed
Is it me or have my senses changed? Before surgery, drinking protein shakes was a breeze for me. I always had the Carnation instant strawberry breakfast. When I got out of surgery, I had alot of nusea and probably vomitted 3 times while I was admitted. But during my hospital stay and when I went home, I noticed that my smell to things was super sensitive. My taste was even more sensitive. I tried a protein shake and nearly threw it up. I could not stand to smell it as I brought it up to my mouth and I surely couldnt tolerate drinking it. Even the none caloric powder you add to water changed in taste for me. I noticed that these two particular senses has changed drastically. I feel at times that it's all in my head. Has anyone experienced this?
What I am trying to work on is my water in take. 64 ounces a day is really hard. I was never a water drinker, the liquid diet before surgery sure was a challenge but now just three months after surgery (august 6th was surgery), I am still experiencing difficulty with water intake. My follow-up with my dietician is always the hardest for me because I feel guilty that Im not succeeding in the water category. I even went as far as to trying to infuse my water with lime, cucumber and mint leaves but just as the none caloric powders, I just cant seem to drink water. Im lucky if I drink 20 ounces in a day.
I try to have watermelon every morning. I have an egg with a cup of coffee each morning. My food intake ranges from a 1/2 cup to a cup of food before I am feeling completely full. I have experienced a sensation of "over full" and have felt the need to purge in order to get relief. This only happens sometimes, depending on what the food may be. I also have experienced one episode of "dumping". I was making pancakes for my daughters, I had a sliver of a pancake and I suppose the syrup and butter was way too much. I was throwing up and had diarrhea for a day and a half. It was the worse feeling and I dont wish it on my worse enemy! I was laid out and out of comission, it was a crazy feeling and experience! What I have also noticed is that I can't tolerate bread, rice, or pasta. All my favorite foods basically lol. What I do love is the Oikos yogurt in plain vanilla. Its a sin to eat this yogurt which is good for you and actually tastes good! This yogurt actually saves me from my super strong sweet tooth I get in the evening! I'll also have about 7 pretzel sticks with a laughing cow triangle to munch on. That's something Im proud to say that I do now, I read lables on food products and can say I somewhat understand them. My nutrionist keeps me at 64g of protein and 20g of sugar. So everything that I pick up I am looking at these two set goals for me. I was shocked to see how many things that I love so much were so bad for me! Before my surgery, I had to keep a food diary. Everything I put in my mouth I had to jott down as well as the way I was feeling at that very moment. I found out that I was a "carb-aholic" and an emotional eater. Dont get me wrong, I get stressed and look around for some "comfort food" and when I find it, I tell my self "you dont need it and it defeats the purpose of your surgery" and I walk away. Im not gonna lie and say everything is "perfect" after my surgery. I cry because I miss food, I cry because I get completely full after a couple of bites, I cry because certain foods just dont agree with me anymore and I cry because my weight is not pouring off me. Anyone experiencing these crazy emotions and are willing to admit it?
On a brighter note, I do feel more confident, I like that my neck has some sort of definition of actually looking like a neck versus just a head on a pair of shoulders. My clothes are baggy on me and I do get compliments on how I look. It will only get better from here on! My inner-self has to catch up with my outter-self. My inner-self is still a chubby chick scared to meet the soon-to-be-skinny-chic. I'll try to let you know of my speed-bumps on this weight loss journey.
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