By excited, do you mean freaking out because I have never been under anesthetic? If so then yes. Actually I went to the dentist once for tooth extraction and whatever they gave me knocked me the #$&*# out!

It is vain but I am looking forward to looking good. I am embarrassed by how much I want to be annoyed by male attention. I get none right now. I want to know what it is like to not be able to cross a room without people looking. I have no illusions that I will have a hot body but what I will have is a shape that is not a size 20 and THAT I am okay with.

I turn 40 in March of 2014... and people can snark and comment and judge all they want but on that day, I will not weigh 273 lbs like I did this year. I will not fight to lose and gain the same 40 lbs. I will not cry because I see people losing weight at a great clip and I am in pain from trying to work out and gaining and losing the same .4 lbs every week and not eating anything GOOD. For that kind of progress, I'd rather eat a pepper and onions sandwich or a pizza or donuts every Friday.

MOST OF ALL when I go out with my girls I will not be the fat chick in the back trying not to notice that the dude is complimenting everyone but me. I will not shy away from pictures because I feel like I look like a beached whale next to everyone else, despite having dropped 30 lbs. What world do I live in where I lose 30 lbs but I am still fat?

Never again, if I can help it.

So yeah. Excited. NERVOUS. But really looking forward to the after picture.

I am on liquids through Wednesday of this week. 39 days to surgery. 29 days until I have to be on the 10 day liquid diet, so I am preparing myself. it's actually not too bad. Meal times are a breeze. I hate having to decide what to eat. I do better with limited options, LOL.