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Never Had Time To Grieve At Peace

JaspersGirl

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blogs/blog-0154020001350117674.jpgI don't know if anyone will read my blogs. But I thought this would be very theraputic to me? I will talk to my computer and hopefully it will talk back to me.

 

I was doing phenomenal with my weight loss. I got sleeved on March 1st 2011. I was full of energy, happy and had so much planned. Until Oct. 30, 2011.... someone close to me passed away tragically. Someone my age, 31yrs old. I didn't eat for 3 days and lost so much weight fast... but then after that I had moments that I would eat non stop. It was a nightmare... it's going to be a year soon, and those feelings are coming back!

 

January 25, 2012 someone else in my family closer to me passed away.... had to pay for the funeral. I didn't have 10grand saved aside as just incase of a funeral money. Needless to say, I went broke and still struggling. I over ate.... ate and ate and ate... why? people bought over food non stop and wanted us to eat!

 

I flew out for this funeral... had to buy 3 round trip tickets from Chicago to California. Then pay for the funeral arrangments and body transferral to another country and a round trip ticket to accompany and attend this funeral......

 

Feb. 22nd... a friend dies....

 

Feb. 27th... a very dear close friend dies...

 

March 2nd my baby cousin dies.....

 

March 16th my uncles passes away....

 

and now... my friend is fighting for her life, cancer! Cancer took my friend away on March 09, 2011... newly sleeved I went to to her funeral. This friend who is fighting for her life... brain cancer.. sigh...

doesn't remember my group of friends, and that is heart breaking to see her in this state.

 

I don't know what to do anymore.

 

I have been on anti depress. pills, xanax for anxiety... and yet nothing works. I feel like a failure in my wls as to I only lost 80lbs.

 

and this is my momentary distraction of the night.



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Hi,sorry for all the loss in your life.

The problem with us overweight people is we do not have external coping skills.We often cope with food.Unfortunately the only ones to make the choice not to do that anymore is you (and me for myself)

You have to find an alternative to eating away the emotions.I find hard,agressive exercise to be the only thing that helps me.EVEN AND ESPECIALLY WHEN I DONT FEEL LIKE DOING EXERCISE,this is usually when I benifit most from it.

This results in weight loss that does make me feel better and more optimistic about life in general,which in turn helps me to cope with the stressess that we just cannot escape.

Good luck and hang in there.Life never just cycles in disaster.At some point you will be able to look back on these 2 very difficult years and sigh of releaf that things are looking up.

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Thank you for your kind words. Yes, it is very sad and I need to cope differently other than reaching for comfort foods. Or at least try and reach for a glass of ice cold water! I will try, I promise my self and every wls person out there. We go through so much to get to this surgery and not fair to fail!!!

thank you for the pick me up :)

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Writing your thoughts out is a good way of releasing the emotions that are locked away in your spirit.......keep a journal......also......gravitate to the things you like to do...if it is reading or walking or whatever........eating is just making things worse....because on top of all the pain, you are feeling horrible about this too....there is no longer any satisfaction for you in eating as a comfort......

I am so sorry for all that has happened to you..you have had more then your fair share of sadness....but eating isn't helping.......you seem like a fighter to me......losing 80 lbs is nothing to sneeze at........

So you have grown and changed......and fighting with yourself over your choices......

Look after yourself too......you need to care about yourself so you can help others and be there for them too....You will go on and come out of the other side of this stronger and a more compassionate person.....

hurting yourself in the process won't change anything that has or is happening.....don't punish yourself for things that are out of your control.....find another way to deal with it........All the best hun! ;)

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