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Emotions

Jack Fabulous

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I had several unusual and emotional dreams last night. One was a very sentimental dream about the fire department. I guess I still really miss that place and I have not done anything to give myself closure.

 

I also had a nightmare that I had gained 40 pounds. This is a direct result of how I have been feeling emotionally. I seem to get into these cycles where I throw caution to the wind and revert back to my old food addict behavior. I’ve been eating high calorie foods for the last couple of weeks. I’ve been able to maintain my weight but I haven’t lost any. I know that at the rate I was going that I would have ended up gaining some. Luckily, I’ve tried to get back into control and provide myself with structured meals. I’ve also gone back to drinking a few protein shakes as meal replacements to try and jump start my weight loss again.

 

I’ve also felt very angry for the past several weeks. I’m not sure whether I’m eating more because I’m angry or the other way around. I think the anger stems from my mourning food. I’m angry that it’s gone. It’s not totally gone of course and I can have a satisfying meal, but lately I’ve wanted more food than I can eat. That has just been pissing me off.



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Hi

I dont know how far out you are but this seems normal to me,happened to me as well.I've often wished I was one of these people that now feels no hunger and forgets to eat and complain that they dont get enough cals..blablabla...lol

But at 7 monyhs out I have made peace with it.I still buy a big tasty burger once in a blue moon,sit down with it,take a big bite of the burger,try a little of the bun,just to have it come right back up in my mouth and have to spit it out..TMI,I know, but I somehow dont feel the frustration of not being able to eat it anymore.I just go and make a protein pancake with lots of sf syrup and Im happy.

It will come,you'll see.Some of us have real food issues that takes a little longer to resolve.Also the closer I get to goal,the better I feel about not eating a lot anymore.

Just hang in there.Make your food choice daily.Dont decide for forever today.Just choose every day to choose to eat right for this one day,dont know if this makes sense but good luck and remember to be nice to yourself with things oer than food.

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I'm reading your blog now and I sent you a message on MFP. Are you still going to your therapist? Are there any support groups in your area? You are not alone in your feelings. Sweetie, this leak that I'm nursing since f'n March... well, it makes me angry. I certainly miss food and going out to meet people, or trying to (having a leak holds me back more from even trying to get out and meet people). But how to get over the anger is the thing... don't let it destroy the success that you can have if you remain positive and accept change. It's a lot to deal with! Especially whenever there are other things in life going on ... but it's learning how to cope w/o food. We, well ahem, me.. as a food addict, I struggle daily to replace the solace that I found in food. Starting a new job, man, I realized then how much I used food to deal with stress. Then to be on a freaking liquid diet too? Grrrr... I won't lie, it's hard...... BUT it's not insurmountable. I am praying for you JFab.... I am praying you find perspective over the anger.... but more than anything, I believe you can overcome the anger and be a success story, inspiring others to do the same. Best wishes, always. xx

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I seriously think that the more time we have to contemplate the state of our own belly button lint, the more unhappy we become. Or maybe it's just me. My life is so totally full of disaster after disaster after... well, you get the idea... that I don't have the time nor the energy to "enjoy" all the facets of change that the VSG introduced. I am still just really thankful that I had it done and that I am losing weight.

Maybe I should write a self-help book: "Life of Strife = Pathway to Oblivion" or some such thing ;-)

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