The neatest thing has happened in the past week. I am seeing and feeling bones I haven't seen or felt in over twenty years. Talk about neat. Oh, and talk about painful...

When I watch t.v. or look at magazines, I always wished I had two things. The little hole between the legs and the butt....you know the one, really skinny girls have it. Girls with no butt and no hips or thighs. The second was the collar bone and the little indent at the bottom of your throat. Now, since I've gotten older, I no longer want to be so skinny that I have no shape. I like my ass. I like my hips. I really like my curves and I plan on keeping them. I know my boobs have left but hey, I can always pay to have them pumped back up...and lifted. Trust me, they need to be put at attention. They have been looking down at my feet all the time since I've lost surgery. They need to be able to look men in the eye when men are looking at them instead of my eyes. LOL They haven't been perky since high school.....maybe they are sick of looking at men staring at them for all those years. LOL

So, here is what I've noticed. I have ribs. Not only in the front but also in the back. My husband finds this the most interesting thing. He likes to keep poking at them despite the fact that I've explained to him that it's not very comfy for me. Who knew bones could hurt so much?!!!! As we lay in bed and he wraps his arm around me. Side note: I've been with him for ten years. In ten years, I had always been uncomfortable with him spooning me. I always felt that the fact he couldn't really wrap his arm around me had to be turn off. He didn't think so, but I was so uncomfortable. Now, his had not only wraps around me, it can tuck under me!!! Ok, back to the ribs. when he hugs me or spoons me, I always feel him feeling them. He looks so bewildered. He's been honest and tells me that he feels like he's hugging another person. He then backs it up but saying despite that, he is so happy it's me he's holding on to. Gosh I love that man. Needless to say, ribs hurt when they get poked or rubbed on. I am sure I will get used to it and it won't hurt anymore, but for now, I try to keep his fingers from poking my ribs. LOL

I've also noticed that I have a collar bone. AND, I have the little indent at the end of my throat. Now, it's not very prominent but if I stand a certain way or laugh, it can be seen with no issue and I'll take that!!! I don't recall ever seeing my collar bone or that little indent. It's the neatest things ever. I have even found myself moving my shoulders a certain way so that other people can see them. Part of me feels that if others can see them, then they can see I'm not fat. I know that's crazy to think, but no matter what I see, I am still that fat girl that is always self conscience and thinks people still look at me like THAT girl...the one that's WAY to over weight. The one that would be beautiful if ONLY she could lose some weight. Another side note: I HATE THAT COMMENT. I am beautiful no matter what my size. Why do I have to lose weight for you or others to find me attractive? Do the people who say this think it's a complement? It's REALLY not. It's actually one of the rudest comments I've ever heard. It's that put down right to your face. The one that sounds nice but if only they knew what you were hearing and feeling...then, maybe, just maybe they wouldn't say it again..EVER. Ok, I am now stepping down from the soap box I got up on. LOL

Ok, now that I've poured my heart out and gotten up and then down from my soap box...I am sharing some photos. One is from the day of surgery. The rest were taken this evening. Sorry for the no makeup, half asleep, P.J wearing look I have going on. I just hope you can see the bones I'm talking about....maybe it's all in my mind, but that's fine with me as it makes me feel really good. and who wouldn't want to to feel good? Hope you get the idea of the bones...LOL