Hiddy ho, everyone!!! Its been a bit since I have been here but I'm back. Not alot has changed but then again, everything has changed. I know, a contradiction in terms.... that would be me!!

Well the first thing I want to talk about is frustration and lying scales!! Okay so maybe they don't lie but it sure feels like it. This is why I have purposely not gotten a scale for my house because I KNOW I would become wayyyyy to involved in weighing myself. So I have choosen to just weigh in when I go to a doctors appointment. I went Friday for a "sick" visit, which I will get to in a few. Anyhoo, I was actually very excited about this because it had been a few weeks since I last weighed in. I was feeling really good about it, especially with all the mucus I have blown out (I know TMI) and even excited, which if you are anything like me, is a very very weird feeling indeed!!

My clothes have been getting bigger and bigger and I've had more energy (kinda) and I can walk without gasping for every breath. So I go in thinking I've lost at least 15 more pounds.... NOT! I had only lost 5lbs more but I got to thinking that is still an accomplishment. Also my body is acting more like 15lbs than 5lbs so who am I to complain?? I will but still lol.... I have lost exactly 50lbs since July 17 so that is really something to be happy about and don't get me wrong, I am extremely happy and proud, just wanting it to go faster. Never thought of myself as being impatient but I guess it is something I can add to my personal resume'.

Okay, now about the "sick" visit. I got a cold about a month ago. Normally because of my major breathing issues, I would have missed a couple of days of work and kept my fingers crossed to keep pneumonia at bay. This time though, it was really no big deal even though I did feel like crap. My issue is that I got over the cold in about a week but have continued to sneeze my way through at least 10 boxes of tissues!! My nose hurts, my face is chapped and my eyes feel like they have lead weights in them!! I've never been prone to allergies but I've got a whopping case of them now. My friend/mentor at work said she also got bad allergies also after her surgery. Anyone else having the same issues? I got a huge shot of steroids in my posterior and was feeling fairly okay until today and I'm back to sneezing and blowing again!! Anyone heard of a nose transplant??? Jest askin'

I have given away my first bag of clothes which is truly a blessing. One of the funny "side affects" is my pants are getting too long! Less booty and belly make for long pants lol.... Again, not that I'm complaining!! One thing I guess I didn't really think about is the deflation of my body and what would happen. I have been blessed with very good genes and have very little grey hair for someone almost 52 and very few wrinkles.... or had very few! I am now the relunctant owner of varying types of wrinkle / toner creams. I have mentioned in previous entries that I can be vain about some things... well this is the latest!! As my face is deflating, my wrinkles are increasing!!

I also have discovered that I am developing bat wings!! arghhhhhh!!! I've always been very muscular so never really thought much about that but it is happening. Fortunately, I already have the rubber excercise thingymabobbers (okay so exercise equipment is not my fortay!) so I guess I'm going to have to make it a part of my routine (that does not yet exist) to recapture a forgotten youthful body that, honestly, I don't remember ever really having. I do have a picture from when I was 19 or so and I did look pretty hot but I just never got the confirmation of that fact. I just remember being told I was never thin enough or going to be loved if I didn't get skinny or thin or whatever so I had a poor body image even though it really wasn't so bad.

Now I haven't told you this for sympathy or the po' me's... no, its just to point out that many of us have had the same experiences and journies, although each are unique. Its how you decide to steer the ship that decides your satisfaction with said journey. I have been very blessed to have had many many people truly love me for who I am and not for what I look like. Something that many of us have to deal with is the fear our mates may have that we will lose weight and then leave them (like my hubster!). My theory is that he loves me like I am and will love me as much or more later. He has stood by me through illness' and surgeries and my failing health so I believe he deserves and has earned the good times too. Besides, he's kinda cute for an old fart!! :wub:

Which brings me to my other topic of discussion.... intimacy. Now I'm not going to get graphic because, for one thing, yuk, and another is some of my family members actually read my blog so I will spare them. It is, however, one of the perks of getting this weight off.... I can hug and cuddle with my husband. It is amazing how much better our interpersonal relations are now that we have both lost weight. And no, I'm not just talking about s.e.x...... I'm talking about being able to pass each other in the kitchen without doing acrobatic moves or now fitting in our bed together comfortably. This may not sound like a big deal to some but oh yeah, it is!!

So I guess I will stop here for now. If anyone has any suggestions on the subject of allergies, please bring them on.... I hope everyone has a wonderful week and continue to enjoy your journey!!! Hugs!!