I got in almost 300 calories today.

I wanted the procedure to put a screaching halt to the diabetes that were impending, to the arthritis, degeneration of my joints, fatty liver, metabolic syndrome,...etc. I'm not nearly in as much pain, and spent the morning into early afternoon on only Tylenol so that I could drive my daughter to the store and she could go in and get stuff the twins need. I did ok. I'm still tired, though managed to get a knap, and I took the binder off while I slept and let air get to my belly...seemed to help. I'm tired, tonight from the commotion of going to the store...there were some glitches.

I wish some of my favorite tv shows were on to kill some of the time. I'd also like to upload resumes and letters of reference into education websites to look for a job...but to heck with that! I can sit here, but if I start moving around, my belly gets giggled and could be bumped off the edge of the desk...and my arms push on the belly, which makes me have more pain. I'll just wait to look for a job. It's not like my info isn't out there. I'll stick to walking and resting.

I also lost 3 lbs. more today. My daughter says my backside looks a lot smaller. I can see my knuckles and veins again, and we put the anti-embolism stockings back on--the right way. I do wish I could eat regular food...even just a little...but there is no way in hell I'm going to risk another surgery...NO WAY! I'm still black and blue from the attempts at iv's, and my stretch marks are still red from being blown up so much during the procedure, and from the binder. I put thick medical pads between the slices and red parts of my skin and the binder, and that helped.

The nurse was no help on Monday after I got home, and now that I'm moving around and my little girl nursed me to this point...the nurse wants to come back. I don't think so! What I needed was help going to the bathroom, getting meds, getting up and down out of the chairs, getting a shower....I can take my own blood pressure, and don't see how nurses can make $163 an hour (or how services can charge that) just to take my bp and look at my booboos. The nurse wouldn't even get my meds for me. It's a bunch of crap. I told her not to bother coming back here tomorrow--at the crack of dawn, no less!...and told her that what I needed was not fought for...no waivers were requested from insurance...and she informed me that she told the insurance company that my drain incision was "not deep!" They would have covered more if she said it was! How could it not be deep when it went directly to my stomach! She's a flake, and was from before she walked in here. I don't want her back, anyway.

My brothers who have come around this summer...never bothered to see if I was ok, or needed help, even though one of them promised to help me...he was simply silent. Now he claims he couldn't call me these last 7 days because he was in the hospital over night for a faint. What happened to the other 6 days? Aren't there phones everywhere?...like his wife's phones checked on me is my pal, Diane, who voluteers with us at a local museum. She's bringing us soup on Sunday. My mother who lives a short way from me, but who never has an interest in us, was not at all interested in anything I wanted or needed....she is so selfish, and the three of them disgust me.

I am amazed how you find out who your friends are when you really need something. My daughter is going to get paid $20 for her hard work helping me at home between cyber school classes and days. My son has a chest cold, and has been very faithful in wearing his face mask and staying in his room...so since that is his part, I will pay him as well...less, though, because he hasn't done the care that my daughter has for me...then again...not being infected with a serious lung infection, cough, cold, flu...is probably worth $20 for helping mom in her tough time of need. He's a good boy.

I'm worried about the chores and things I have to do, and that I am not going to be able to do them for a while...oh well...of bigger concern is the air conditioners are still in the windows and I have to figure out what to do with them for the cold times until I can get them out of the windows...honestly, that is a HUGE feat for me to put them in, let alone take them out, because of my arthritis and things. I'm going ot have to research how to weatherize and leave them in the windows...and maybe find a strong man to take them upstairs ac's out of the windows for me. We'll see.

I'm thankful I have a house to be in, a chair to sit in, the comforts of a home...not a rich home, but a pleasant and secure one. I hope I always have a home for the rest of my life,a nd that we are ok....and that means that sometime soon, I have to find a job.

Hiccups, and gas are an issue, still, pulling pain in the stomach is a bit of an issue, and the headache seems to have dissipated. I keep the fans on, and my slippers on, and prop my arms on the recliner arms with extra pillows.

I am looking forward to my post-op visit, as well as writing some letters about some of the lack of care I have received.