Hi there,

I'm so sorry your not getting the support you need from your folks. I have been fortunate, though I prepared myself for negativity and to argue my thoughts, it didn't happen. I was ready though, I knew that I, as I am sure you have, researched the procedure, pre and post op diets and read countless message boards to get as much information as you can before making your decision. You are right, you are doing what is best for you and you were strong enough to take a big step and make the decision to have surgery. Quick fix? I think not. This is a permanent, uncompromising tool that will start you off on your way to better health. Remind them maybe that you still have to do the work, that this is a life change that wouldn't be possible without the surgery. Some folks can do the gym/ Weight Watchers and achieve the results they want. I for one, am not one of those people either.

Any chance you can get one or both of them to go to a free seminar with you? A few hours could maybe open their mind, and hearing it from one of the pros might give them a different perspective.

If not, the folks here have been through it all. I am lucky to have found this site and got to it often for thoughts, inspiration, perspective, opinion and reality checks. Nothing like thousands of people in the same boat rooting for you!

Have a wonderful birthday, and good luck!!

Thanks so much for your support and birthday wishes!

Whenever I have a free minute ( which is slim these days with a 3 yr old & a 1 1/2 year old LOL) I'm online reading, researching, and watching peoples journeys with VSG. I thought about taking them to a seminar but then I asked myself "What for? For them to embarrass me with their ignorant comments and remarks??" If they aren't going to support me then so be it. I have all the support I need from my husband and my children.

Yes. In fact I refused to tell my family I was having VSG. They are all experts of stupidity. Now I love my family, but as a single mother of a 4 year old I understand your situation. I'm a collegiate athlete and full time grad student, I'm in great athletic shape but my body packs on weight like no one's business. I've been big all my life, even when I was in the Army. I had a horrifically big appetite and nothing ever satisfied me. VSG is no quick fix. WHen I did have surgery I just told people it was for stomach ulcers and to get my pancreas fixed for making too much insulin- BOTH truths, I just didn't add in the WLS part. It's always easier to say than do. I'm 3 weeks post op and I'm telling you it's the best decision I've ever made. I'm pretty successful in life considering what all I've been throw, but I've always felt like a complete failure when it comes to my weight. And my family- if they are anything like yours uses negative reinforcement to try to motivate me- reminding me I don't need to eat out, or I shouldn't have a piece of birthday cake, etc. I assure you VSG is no quick fix. It takes months if not years to get off all the excess weight- and guess what? You will be able to eat anything you want, just in tiny portions, and you won't be hungry anymore. You, and you alone will be able to sleep easier at night knowing you love yourself and you're living life for your kids and you. I'm not self concious anymore, I still have a lot of weight to lose, but I'm not stressing like I once did. It's not the elephant in the room anymore. No more money wasted on weight watchers or diet pills or magical cures- those are quick fixes. No gym membership was going to keep me from my favorite fast food- but my VSG MAKES me an honest woman and I can't fool or cheat it. And now the weight is coming off, and I'm more worried about getting enough in! GOod luck. It's your life. Your happiness.

Do you think you deserve to be happy? Yes.

My husband told me not to tell them and I just should have listened but of course I needed to open my mouth. I just cant take the comments and the advise anymore. You sound like a GREAT, strong woman and your completely correct. I've felt like a failure at almost everything in my life except my children. My family is italian so everything we do revolves around food.

It is my life and I am determined to do this the right way and BE HAPPY. I most definitely deserve it and so does my husband and my children!

The only way to overcome the ignorance in others is to educate them. Unfortunately, when folks are unteachable; think they already know it all, the only chance to change their prejudice is to demonstrate the truth.

First, try sending them to articles that explain the procedure and the benefits. They might even spend some time looking at this forum. I was in their camp before I went to a meeting held by my wife's surgeon. But then, I listen to reason.

Otherwise, you will be forced to show them what it is. It may take years. Be gentle with them now, don't hurt their pride, that just makes them more resistant. Let them know you could use their support but will proceed without it if need be.

This surgery is absolutely not easy. It is, however, effective.

My mother is RELENTLESS. She hasn't stopped texting me with ridiculous things since yesterday. Im trying really hard not to turn in a huge battle.

Ahahahah, funny thing my mother is from Sicily and our world revolves around food too! ahahahaha... I found that hillarious when you said that. What's also funny is that everyone minus my grandmother is severly overweight and my mother is morbidly obese, yet they think they are all experts at health and nutrition. If weight watchers and jenny craig where so freak'n great we'd all be super models and not yo-yo dieters. Sometimes I think misery loves company. I knew going into this they wouldn't approve. But just like they didn't approve my college major (and I"m paying for my degrees) and didn't approve of me getting my PhD (they thought it was over kill and unnecessary, I should be husband shopping) I just decided to keep it on the hush hush.... AND I BET YOU MONEY that when I lose that first 50+ lbs they are going to tell me (and probably you) that your starving yourself, accuse us of being anorexic, and try to tell us we are too skinny. It's a lose/lose situation. Got to make your mind up and run with it... I've had enough practice with my family giving me crappy advice based on ridiculous old world values to help me prepare for my surgery. Just do YOU!

Once again, you've hit the nail right on the head!!! They think they know EVERYTHING about EVERY situation in this world.

Trust me... thats all I'm going to do

My Mom said "a daughter of mine doesn't need to have WLS". I explained to her that because of my diabetes that I NEED to do it. I took her with me to my meetings with the surgeon. After a bit she was able to understand that it was best. Now I am off my diabetic meds and 80 lbs down, so it more accepted by all who were not supportive. You know I have said to her and others that were against it...until you are in MY shoes with MY medical problems then you have NOTHING to say about it...I NOT asking for your approval...just letting you know what I"LL being doing to TAKE CARE of myself. If they support you great, if they don't you have ALL OF US...like how many of us are there???? BIG HUG from me to you.

Kinda.... I was eager to tell mine. I wanted her to do research and things like that but she still hasnt. They keep asking questions and saying you cant do it. Frankly its annoying.

When I went to the free seminar to learn about the different options, I learned how safe the sleeve is. Dr. Brathwaite said I was at a higher risk of dying from a complication due to being obese than from the surgery. He is right. I was borderline diabetic before my surgery on June 11, 2012. Now, 54 pounds lighter, all of my blood work came back perfect!! I don't think there is a single person who would consider having wls that hasn't tried every diet out there already. Bottom line, you need to do what is best for you and not let other people make you feel bad for your decision. Good luck!

Ive tried to tell her all of these things. She just wont stop. She just sent me another message saying to check Jessica Simpsons website bc she is also trying to lose weight and see what she is doing. Really??! personal trainer! a cook! she just doesn't get it so I have no other choice other than to stop speaking to her about the topic.

Thank you everyone for all your support and advice. It really makes me feel not alone!

My mother was very unsupportive. She didn't say it was a quick fix (which sucks that yours did), but she just kept saying things to scare me. "What if....you get stomach cancer later on, die, have problems, etc. etc." However, my mother has never been supportive of anything or decision I've made so I am pretty much used to it. She is not educated on the matter and therefore she just says things she shouldn't say. She did the same thing when I became pregnant. I had back problems so when I got pregnant instead of being excited (like a normal person would) she made negative comments and really took the joy away from me. A few weeks later I lost the baby and I thought I may never forgive her pessimistic attitude towards everything. I realize every situation is different, but as you've said, you are your own woman and you are making this decision for you and for your happy and healthy future. Perhaps mom needs to go a few weeks without hearing from you in order to have time to realize that you have no space in your life for negativity. I completely understand being concerned, but sometimes I just don't get why people can't just be happy for other's decisions, etc. You have to do what is right for you and it is hard to want that approval and not be able to get it. You'll be in my thoughts as you undergo this transformation. I had my surgery Tuesday and I feel so excited for what the future holds.

I didn't tell my dad i was having wls until i had returned from mexico with it done! He didn't have much to say...He ALWAYS has something negative to say so i chose not to tell him. I told my mom because she is understanding (& obese), she was behind me, but just concerned...I think once you start losing and are healthier they will see and come to terms with itl. You have to do what YOU think is right and educate them on the sleeve...

(Hit wrong key) also... If this is isn't i don't know what hard is. It's not easy at all,it's a BIG lifestyle change!!