I think you made a good decision. Please keep intouch and keep us posted! Hope you get your date soon!

feeling really vunerable and unsure about posting my blog and pic, and having it on public view, not sure i can do this public yet, x

finally found my way back to this blog, I did wimp out and removed my before pic's, am not ready to look at them myself, never mind other people seeing them.

Also, I know this is public and have been debating if I wanted more than my close family and friends to know about my life at this time in my life, and have decided to continue in the hope that it will encourage and help other people who are struggling with living in this world with an unacceptable to most 5 x body, now 4x I am glad to say.

I have been yo yo dieting since the birth of my second son 30 years ago, I have been to wws 5 x's and lost up to 5 stone only to struggle with hunger and unable to continue have put all the weight back on in half the time it took to loose it and often a stone extra each time.

If I added up all the weight I have lost in my life I would weigh - nothing, lol.

Even though I was so big, I was still able to work and always dressed as nice as I could, but was never happy with my size, and the verbal abuse I received was evil, and even though I tried not to let it hurt Mr, it would drip into my ears lowering my self esteem drip by drip.

My husband has always loved me, fat or thinner, and always told me he only wanted me to loose weight if it made me happier and healthier, bless him.

In 2006 I started wws for the last time at 21 stone 4lb, and by Sept 2008 had lost over 5 stone, I had gone from a size 34 to a size 20, and what a difference, I was swimming, could walk easier and was determined to get down to my goal size 16.

However, after a holiday in our caravan at the coast in Sept I had a really big and painful bite and came home really unwell, that was the start of health hell, from being fitter than I had been in years I became house and bed bound, I just couldn't understand what was happening to me. I struggled with attending my meetings and began to yo yo again due to no more swimming and comfort eating. In the following Jan my hubby suddenly lost his job and took a self employed job, it failed miserably with the recession and we used up all of our savings, and this was a very stressful time which added to my fatigue and pain.

We are Christians and out faith was well and truly tested, but our God is faithful and we were never without our needs.

2010, all the weight was back on and I was very I'll, my blood sugar went sky high and I was reffered to a fantastic specialist called Dr Hosker, he was brilliant, I got victoza, a brand new drug, and the sugar was stabilised.

I was reffered to the bariatric process in Jan 20011, and began to loose weight, I was also seen by an arthritis specialist who diagnosed fibromyalgia and osteo arthritis, at last I knew what this terrible pain and fatigue was.

I have told the rest of my story so won't bore you with it again.

There is one thing I would like to say about the last 18 months, that in the end it has worked out to be good for me.

I the beginning I saw the operation has a punishment for not being able to get the weight of myself and keep it off, but not now, I see it as a gift, a privelige, and am so grateful to God and my family to come to this place of knowing it is the right thing for me at this time in my life, and with God's help I will use this tool to get to the healthy happy person I was born to be.

Sorry this is soooooooo long, but now it is written I can move on with my story, and hope that when you read you too will be encouraged to make this step if it is right for you, Janet, x :-)

my opdate is the 9th Oct and today I have started my pre op liver shrinking diet, so far so good, watch this space, lol, :-) x