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Real Regret!

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desertmom

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It has been almost 3 weeks since I've last lost even an ounce!

 

At the moment I am seriously depressed.I regret having started smoking after surgery again.I am so angry with myself about this.Stopping is not an issue.Stopping and not gaining weight is.Somehow this warped head of mine believe that the smoking had something to do with the weight loss.I am petrified of stopping and gaining.But I want to stop as I want to run more,cannot do that while coughing and wheezing!

 

Also today I would have loved a real binge,I mean an all fall down eat till you're sick binge!I know it sounds horrible but stalling like is is messing with my head so badly.I have always believed that if you dont lose you are doing something wrong.I am still convinced of it.Dont know how to FEEL different about it.I am anxious,depressed,obesessive and generally feels like I AM A BIG FAT FAILURE AGAIN!

 

And most of all,today I dont feel that the sleeve was the right option for me!If I did gastric bypass I might have been T goal already!I am too messed up as a person to handle the mind games of losing and stalling and losing and stalling,not knowing if its me,is this it,is this as good as its gonna get because no matter what I do I cant move the scale?I hate,hate being so out of control.I hate this sleeve!

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Gee, I know you must be really frustrated right now. Stalls suck! Do you mind if I ask how much weight you've loss so far? Maybe your losing inches, are you keeping your measurements? As for the smoking, please stop. It's so bad for you. Is there anyone where your at that you can talk to about the depression? Maybe find an exercise buddy. That would help relieve some stress, and kick start the stall. Hang in there, things will get better! Hugs from the midsouth.

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I know how you feel (sort of). I'm a non-smoker, but pre-sleeve, and I get that way trying to lose weight on my own and failing. Once I slip, it's like a slope I can't recover from and everything in the kitchen is in danger.

I would suggest seeing if you can find a support group (maybe your surgeon's office offers one?) or a therapist who can help you through some counciling that will help you with the coping of the changes you're going through, and exercises (mentally) you can do to help you stay (feel) in control of what your body is doing. It sounds like your brain is fighting what your heart and body want to do and it refuses to make the change which is only going to drive you even more crazy.

Maybe an andi-depressant can help with the "down" feelings you have, and give you a bit more "positive" outlook.

I feel so bad for you and wish I could help. Mostly, I wish you would be good to yourself and seek help. It's not a weakness to ask for help in situations you've never experienced before. Maybe by asking for help and getting to goal and seeing how great a decision this was, you will be able to help others through similar situations by telling your story.

Good luck! I'm cheering for your success!!

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I know the feeling of losing and stalling. I have only lost 45 since I was sleeved on 6-12. I feel that I should have lost more by now but I am going to hang in there. My goal weight is 180.

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Hi,I am not really depressed,just feeling super low because of the stall..

One thing I havnt discussed here that is causing me to regret this is the fact that I ahve the most painful heamoriods since surgery.If I skip the laxative even one day I am in hell with pain.I am just so concerned about this.Started eating a lot more fibre and its made it worse.The only thing that helps is a laxative.

After reading about the surgery for this and how people suffer afterwards I feel so in a corner about this.I am damned it I do and damned if I dont.I DO NOT WANT TO GO FOR SURGERY ON MY BUTT!Hence the depressed feeling.If I lose weight I at least feel its all worth it and when I stall for this long I just wonder what the future holds with the constipation issue that is a real problem for me.

Anyhoo,I just had to vent.I live in Dubai and let me tell you support grops are non existant here.We are 3 girls that meet every now and then and that does help.

I JUST NEED TO LOSE MORE WEIGHT!After not sleeping all night with pain and pain killers not helping I am just feeling a bit sorry for myself.

Tomorrow will be a better day again.

Thanks for replying,it helps me put things into perspective again.

xxo

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I know exactly how frustrating these stalls are. Especially because this was my first stall so soon after surgery. 2 weeks post-op I stalled, BIG TIME. It lasted for 5 1/2 weeks before it finally broke. So far it's working and I hope I keep losing.

It was suggested to me I was in starvation mode. What I did was changed up my pattern and added 100-200 calories to my diet by eating an extra snack. (I know, tough to do when your new stomach is so small). But essentially I was trying to fool my body into believing it was no longer starving.

I also started doing 1 vegie/fruit blast each day. Since surgery, I haven't had the room to eat the vegies and fruits after eating the protien foods, so by doing a blast it seems to take care of a few things. I can now get my vegies/fruits in (plus the fiber) and I add a small handful of nuts to include the protein. It also counts as a liquid. And it's really easy on the digestion and helps things along, which is an extra plus.

I started this 8 days ago. My stall broke 4 days ago and I've lost an additional 3 lbs since my stall.

It works for me...

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So I was looking through your posts and you have this great topic posted on the 30th of July that says 4.5 months out - 80 pounds down. That means that you lost over an average of 4 pounds a week! That's incredible. Can you blame your body for needing some time to adjust? =) Stalls are crazy difficult things. I had a 3 week one when I was only 3 weeks out and I thought I was failing at another weight loss journey. Then one day it started moving again, simple as that. I think yours will be the same.

Look through your nutrition records - are you getting in all your protein still? All your water? Are you creeping up on calories?

I think the gastric sleeve is definitely for you. You didn't gain the weight over a six month period - to expect to lose it all that quick is not only not as healthy as losing slower, but you would have tons of loose skin! Do you measure? Are you losing inches in these three weeks? Maybe your skin is tighter than you'd be with RNY. Maybe you're healthier, have less vitamin deficiencies. Three weeks feels like forever, but in the scheme of things, it's really not. You are doing amazing. Don't give up.

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Hi Izuri

In 2003 I did the band as a last effort to live!I failed or maybe it failed but to me it was my failure!My intense fear of failing at this is what makes a stall so intense for me.

Then there is the fact hat I have a lot of head issues with food and I really still want to eat my emotions away...but I dont.Plus the fact that I dont eat yogurt or string cheese or any of the other soft proteins that others do.I eat chicken,fish,meat and veggies.This si only since summer.Before I use to eat carbs and I lost weight quite fast as you can see.The thing is second guessing myself made me go low carb and that in turn makes me miserable.

Today I decided to eat a little of everything again and enjoy it.To exercise and to find my balance again.I am not like most of the others on this site.Low carb doesnt work for me,balance does.So I will try to find my balance again and maybe the doubt will disappear again.

Thanks for the reply.It is super encouraging.

Lzl,rock that sleeve girl!it will come down fast now!

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Spatters3

Stupid right?I did this surgery at a time when our life was running smoothe as clock work.a Month after,as murphy's law would have it,it felt like everything fell to bits.Most stressful year of my life so far and my defences was low.I just didnt cope without the food to self soothe with and started smoking again.

I will stop.You are right nothing is worth the anxiety and fear I have of what consequince the smoking might have in my life.

So,lots to work on now that the kids are back in their routine and the big decisions have been made.We are staying in Dubai and will not be a family living in 3 different countries.My kids are both here for now and life is sweet again.

Will have to learn new coping skills though!

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