Today is day 19 of my week 3 stall and I'm trying hard not to let it drive me nuts - which is difficult because my hormones are going insane. I have not felt this moody is a long time. It doesn't help that my period has come at least three times this month for a few days each time and I think this is my second full period since surgery. There are also things going on in my life that are just not conducive to feeling good. I don't really feel like getting into them, but it's just friend stuff.

I thought that getting a new scale that had a few weeks delivery that it would be long enough that my body would finally lose, but my new scale arrived over the weekend and I'm still in this stall, so I think I gave up today and put the scale away. It just makes me feel like I'm that one person who will never lose a significant amount of weight - which I logically know is nonsense. I'm sure that the added stress of it is making me retain even more weight, so at this point it's a why bother thing.

I am trying my best to stay positive, but I think I need to ask my psychiatrist if I can increase my medication for a while. With all these crazy hormones I just feel like I need something more. She said that we definitely could post-surgery. She also said that I can start an antidepressant if I need to at some point, but I don't think that's necessary yet. I'm hoping a few weeks and I'll get back into school and things will level out a bit. I think it's combining with my anxiety about the school year starting.

I had my first day back at work on Sunday night and it was awful. I couldn't get in any water and since we do not get any kind of break, I could barely get anything in. It was so ridiculously busy and every customer was mad. I started to get pretty painful on my side and so I took some tylenol liquid and then I think my blood sugar plummeted because I felt really light headed. I grabbed some muscle milk, which we thankfully carry and got a few sips in, which helped a little. I wish that in customer service people actually realized that we're human too. Sometimes I feel like they expect me to be a robot.

I haven't felt like eating today. I know I haven't gotten even close to enough of anything in. I think I might just get in another protein shake and head to bed for the night. Maybe if I just let today be bad and get it in my head that tomorrow will be a good day, I will feel better when I wake up.

TOMORROW WILL BE BETTER! I will end my rant now, but it feels good to get it off my chest.