I was sleeved on 8.23.12. It was a step into a new direction. The first few days have been an adjustment. My mindset is I must endure it to get where I want to go. I know from reading various blogs, entries, comments that I am pretty much guaranteed to get to the light at the end of the tunnel. What has been even greater is that since I know I WILL lose weight, I can think beyond my body image, beyond my disappointment with myself. It is amazing how I haulted so much of thinking because of self loathing. I am not where I want to be and it may take me a year more or less to get there but I know each day I move further away from where I was on 8.23.12.

I achieved great weight loss on my own before but I am so thankful for this opportunity. It forces me to think about everything I put to my mouth. It forces me to think, "drink slowly" and eventually "eat slowly."

I wondered as I go through these challenging days if I would blog again. All I wanted to do is read what everyone is or has gone through. I told myself I need to still write my experience down so in months to come, I can self reflect.

I see the scale now and I know I can have a positive relationship with it. No longer will it collect dust on it and I cringe as I walk past it.

Anyone in the Pre-Op stage, this is a journey. It is yours and only you can walk this walk. I realized this as I planned to go to the hospital. I owned it then. You see, I had a number of other surgeries and my support system has been in place. My scariest (for lack of a better word) part has been when I get separated from my friends and family and was taken into the presurgery holding area (right before going into the operating room). This time, I faced it. I let my support system stay where they were as I knew I had to face the most challenging part on my own anyway (they did not come to hospital with me). I did it. Now of course, that is my story, my issue but my point is OWN your journey. This is yours. Guaranteed results to come and with that I know my future is brighter.