Wow, I just came back from vacation late Sunday evening. I had to start my pre-op diet while on vacation and I started good on Saturday but screwed up on Sunday. I am back in business today. As much as I ENJOYED my vacation, I also hated it. I was the fattest of the group. Although the others were smaller, they were SMASHING food. I ate too, more than what I usually would but less than they did. It is not fair but it is what it is. I also started thinking this is the last trip I will be able to eat as I know it so I got sad. Sad that it will take a surgery for me to get myself together. I so wish I could have overcome this weight battle on my own as I did in the past.

I guess I am happy and sad. Surgery is days away. I need it as I look horrible. My face is full, stomach bulging...so many things I don't like. Pictures prove it too. I hated taking pics while I was on vacation. I thought, next year when we go on our major trip again, I will look great.

I have so much to say but I am overwhelmed in my thoughts and can't type as fast as I think.

Time for do it...write later...I cannot get my thoughts out now.