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Work, Haters And Motivators

mrscastillo

1,149 views

i wish yesterday was my last day of work.... Those people are stressing me out!

 

A coworker of mine yesterday asked me when surgery was (I've only told them I need to get my lapband corrected....they don't know I'm getting the sleeve!) so I told her it was next Tuesday.... In a rude attitude, her response was "so your getting the lapband removed right? Because I don't see why you can't lose the weight with just diet and exercise!"

 

breathe Tiffany........breathe........wooosah!!!!! Woooosah!!!!!

 

this coworker of mine literally weighs 93lbs, has never had an eating problem in her life.... She's just this cute, tiny little Asian woman, about 35-40 years old.......and she's got the nerve to tell someone 3x's her size that 'diet and exercise' a going to fix me????!!!!! Oh hell no! I was so upset at that point.... I honestly didn't know how to respond to that. I just simply and softly responded with "I'm sure you have no clue what it's like to be this big and this disgusted in yourself. I'm glad diet and exercise work for you, but this is my body and my choice"

 

the look on her face was pure stunned..... I'm pretty sure no one has ever responded to her rudeness like that before....

 

 

I'm so tired of people telling me what I should and should not do with this body of mine.... "god gave you this body" yes....he did..... And unfortunately, I ruined it and I'm trying to get it back.....so shove off!

 

 

lord grant me the strength to continue to deal with these haters.... Help me see that they motivating me to work harder at the body I want!

 

anyone else have these issues with friends/family/coworkers who don't know what it's like being like us?

how did you deal with it?



13 Comments


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Wow girl - good for you! I love the come back. Most people have been very supportive to me, but I have had the few that didn't agree with my choice. I have two tiny sisters who can eat anything they want and still lose weight, I swear. They didn't say much, but both live far away and we don't talk much. Once the weight starts coming off and people notice how much happier you are (and you WILL be) they should be happy for you. Everybody is different and we all have to make the right choice for ourselves.

Good Luck!!!

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Don't hate because technically she was right. Anyone can lose weight with diet and exercise. So don't hate just let it motivate. I definitely believe you are making the right choice, but truth be told you don't hav to have surgery to weight. However my surgery changed my life and my outlook on exercise and diet. I was 379lbs in 2011 and had the VSG. Not because of my metabolism or genetics but because of diet and exercise. I had the VSG in March and now I am 186lbs. almost to my goal of 179lbs. I workout 5xs a week and stay far far away from processed sugar.

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I have been lucky, so far. But I am a guy and things are different for us. We get a complete pass on our size pretty much until we hit HUGE. Not always, and that doesn't mean we don't feel awful about ourselves. Just that it is acceptable to society for men to be big and manly. Whereas, the ladies are held to a higher (and smaller) standard.

Also, though, in addition to a higher standard, women are just some mean witches when they want to be. The way women treat each other - especially at work - has always fascinated me. Women say things to each other that are the most hurtful and hateful things. Whereas we guys handle it in a more civilized manner - we hit you. Then buy beer, man hug, and go on with our evenings.

I suppose that makes the ladies a bit more evolved, but I am not sure it is much of an improvement.

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I have a super-skinny friend who smokes. She is confused as to how people get really big--but not judgmental. As a former smoker, I was able to draw a comparison--the craving she felt when she needed a cigarette is very similar to the craving I felt for food. However, one cigarette would cure her craving, it took a large meal--like a restaurant meal plus--to make my craving go away. The light came on for her then......she said, "I guess the brain of a big person is wired differently because I never want to eat unless my stomach is growling." Of course, this lady WANTED to understand. She feels compassion for people who struggle with obesity and sees it as something she is very glad she doesn't have to deal with. So, realize that there are people out there that have a good attitude and will be supportive.

Your coworker, sounds like a mean, judgmental person who basically needs to F&$@ off. You were nice. I would have said something very rude like, "funny, I don't recall giving a crap what you think" or something equally childish. It amazes me that some people feel free to vomit their opinions about your personal life all over you like that.

Stay strong!

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OMG some people just have no filter. I'm glad you replied to her like that. She's got a lot of nerve to even say something like that to you. Yes, anyone can loose weight with diet & exercise. However, sometimes diet and exercise alone is not sufficient. Everyone has their own individual choices for having WLS and to be quite honest you still have to exercise and eat right after surgery in order to maintain the weight and keep from having loose skin. This is the exact reason why I chose not to tell anyone (not even my family members) about my decision. Sometimes you just don't want to hear negative condescending rude smart a$$ remarks. It does you no good! Brush the haters off and keep striving for success! BAM~!!

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I don't think many of us in here have had any trouble LOSING weight. We've done it over and over. It's KEEPING IT OFF where we have the problem.

My husband, who is my biggest supporter and cheerleader, also swore I could "just do it myself," and begged me to reconsider my choice, stick to a program and work out. I patiently (ok, well not so patiently) told him that I HAD reconsidered several times and it's not up for discussion. I have made my decision and I am doing this for me because I deserve to enjoy the second half of my life. I deserve to enjoy and savor food again, and to be able to enjoy exercise again without pain.

I commend the OP for letting her co-worker know that her opinion wasn't asked for and therefore had no value to her.

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I certainly respect how you handled that because I think I may have reacted first and then thought. That was the main reason why I didnt tell my coworkers what I was doing until Id done it. I didnt feel that my decision was any of their business anyway. Now, after I got back to work and they started to see the weight loss, they started to tell me how good I looked and when they asked me what id done, i just said, well, for my portion control, I had the sleeve done. Other than that, Im working out and have changed my eating habits completely. If I did have any haters, they knew better not to mention it around me. I get along with everyone but I also speak my mine to anyone. Good Luck to ya!

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Good for you and good come back. It is absolutely none of her business. This is why I didn't and haven't told anyone that I work with and only 3-4 people closest to me know I have been sleeved. It is your business, no one else's.

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Sounds like something my cute, tiny,little Asian woman mother would say and it ticks me off all of the time lol.My mom knows nothing about dieting she does exercise but she only started maybe 2 years ago and she is 60 never been fat a day in her life.I tend to give her and a lot of people of other cultures the benefit of the doubt as to whether she means to be hurtful because in her culture and a lot others they are very blunt and it is not considered rude to state what they consider the "obvious". I know we live in America and people of other cultures know it too but some have trouble adapting.I say do what you did in this case and let the person know how it is...Don't Hate,Educate ;)

ps.I am also an advocate of if it is none of their business you don't have to tell them.I will only tell those I trust :)

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I've only told 3 ppl at work and they are soooo supportive, even offering to pick me up from the hospital or drive me to my EGD if I can't get a family member who can do it. I don't think I'm going to tell anyone else at work until after I have the surgery. I'm just taking 1.5 to 2 weeks vacation time.

I had some problems with my one sister. I asked her if she would be able to drive me to my EGD if I needed it and apparently she thought I was opening this up for conversation and asking for her blessing (which I wasn't). We had a heated email exchange but now I think she's come around. My other sister - will support me even if she doesn't agree & she keeps it to herself. So I'm pretty lucky for that.

Good for you though - that was a great comeback and you're right - she's probably never had anyone call her on her rudeness. Good for you & good luck with your surgery!!

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I've told 3 people at work. Who also happen to be really good friends...

My friend ulises is big like me and is sort of planning on getting the surgery... But he's not sure if he wants the lapband or the sleeve lol.

My friend Dianed, who also struggles with weightless due to a thyroid issue

and finally,

My friend Norma, who has the lapband (like me) and (like me) is trying to get approved for the sleeve (I'm pretty sure her insurance doesn't like her because they won't approve her surgery....

I trust these friends of mine.....that's why I've told them, and them only. I haven't decided if or when I will tell anyone at work.... I don't want them to judge me or tell me what I should or should not be eating (I've gotten that before too!!!)

you guys are right..... People have no filters....

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