The Most Evil of all Man’s Inventions -

When we were getting larger, the scale was an evil evil device. It was originally designed by man to assist in the development of early commerce, but over time it took on a new and insidious venture. It became the device that quantified what we already knew - we were getting bigger. It was not a secret. We knew it. We knew we were not eating right and could tell we were getting bigger. But as long as those elastic waists and comfort fit pants hung in there, we could kid ourselves into believing that it was not that much weight gained. It was all so vague and easy to ignore.

But the evil scale ruined all that. That "couple of pounds" we had gained since last summer was actually 14.7 pounds!!! And what total chucklehead decided we needed a decimal point on a bathroom scale? What an idiot. I am not a pharmacist carefully measuring out a deadly drug. I am just a fat guy on a bathroom scale. The size of the number is bad enough, the decimal is just sort of an insult. "I weigh 277." Scale: "No, actually you weigh 277.6!" GRRRRRRRR, Stupid scale! I will tell you where you can put that .6 pounds….

BUT NOW….

I have come to reconsider my position -- and being down 50+ pounds has everything to do with it. That decimal point is an amazing and important invention. When I lose .6 pounds, you can bet I want to know all about it!! Don’t be depriving me of my 9.600 ounces of hard earned weight loss! I did not just go to the bathroom, dry my hair, clean out my ears, burp, get naked and take off my glasses to get some vague estimate!!!

I have concluded that the scale is, in fact, not inherently evil. I have come to this based on recent events. Since I have had my surgery I have noticed something amazing that I had never noticed before. It may have been there all along, but I just did not know it. Maybe you knew….but until just recently, I did not know that ….. (wait for it) …..

The scale can actually go DOWN!!!!

Here are three great scale jokes!!!

A lady noticed her husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach.

Thinking he was trying to weigh less with this maneuver, she commented, "I don't think that's going to help."

"Sure it will." he said. "Now I can see the numbers."

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Two youngsters were closely examining bathroom scales on display at the department store.

"What’s it for?" one asked.

"I don’t know," the other replied. "I think you stand on it, and it makes you mad…at least it does that for my Dad."

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