Today we had satellite internet installed after not having anything but dialup since we moved in here a year ago. But it was time to either reup the lease or move, and the only downside to this house is the lack of internet access so we decided to stay and lock ourselves in a ridiculous 24 month contract with a satellite internet company. So now I have unlimited (kinda) access to this blog instead of going to my parents or trying to type on my Droid!

It's been so hot lately up here in NH! Or maybe it's not the heat that's so bad, but definitely the humidity! So I haven't been exercising as much as I should, trying to find that happy medium of keeping fit but keeping my MS happy too. I can't even explain my happiness and the change in myself since this surgery. I can now go to any store and shop any clothes, my energy is UNBELIEVABLE! What I can do now compared to a year ago, without having to stop because of my symptoms of my MS acting up is simply amazing.

Actually here's a somewhat funny story that proves my improvement. Back in Jan of last year I started going to the gym with my mother, this was when I started the WLS journey too. We didn't know a lot of the equipment and there was always a lot of people at this gym and they were VERY fit and we both felt uncomfortable trying new equipment in front of these people, especially with the poor layout of the gym. But one day we were the only ones there so I got cocky and decided I was going to go try that weird gliding thing (elliptical), well the setting was set WAYYY to easy and I was pretty much at a dead run and unable to stop. I only did this for about 1 min or 2, trying to figure out how to control my legs on it. Well, the next day I ended up not being able to walk when I woke up because of how it had affected my MS pushing my body that much. So I went through the usual IV Steroids and such to slow it all down and eventually we got back to the gym (a different one this time that was SO much better). I continued to use the elliptical, but a little at a time. And I wore my ice vest and a gel neck tie to keep my body temperature down. I would get so proud that I could go a whole minute on the elliptical, then worked my way up a minute or two extra a day at a time. Now we are able to go a full 30-50 minutes depending on the temperature of the gym and how I'm feeling that day. But it's a perfect example to people who are afraid to get to the gym or to exercise that it's not about going gung ho when you get to the gym. Take it slow and start small and add a little bit at a time. I continue to push myself every day. If I'm on the elliptical or my bike at home and I hit my 30 minute mark, if I don't have a nice even whole number on my calorie count or even my mileage mark I'll say to myself, go a bit further to make this number this (like if I'm at 235 calories burned I'll push myself to a full 300 calories burned). When I take my dog Tank for a walk up the hill I walk to a new further mailbox every time. Our walks are now a little over a mile away now, totaling a full 2 mile walk, and we live on a HUGE hill!

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, because the better I feel, the more I want to do. I love being able to shop anywhere for clothes. I've started to think about doing things that I couldn't do before because of my weight. I actually have gotten a job that starts next week as a nurse again after not being able to work for 2 years. It's just a temp job through the flu season, but I've scheduled myself 32 hours a week and it's a good test to see how I handle work, doing dialysis on my hubby at nights, going to school for 2 classes this fall to finish my RN, and working part time on the ambulance. The more I lose, the more I can handle I think. I've started thinking I want to do something that I couldn't of done at 391 lbs, and I think I may try ziplining...

A HUGE milestone for me today was buying scrubs for my new job. I was able to walk through the scrub store and was able to buy ANY scrub there. I was a LNA out of high school and became a LPN in 2009. So I've been wearing scrubs for a long time, and never did I have much of a choice. A 3X was too tight on me. I had started buying 4x and 5x from online stores. I had to try on tops to see what my new size was and depending on the brand, some Larges fit me, and most XL's fit well. Some of the fancier scrub tops with a sash under the bust were a bit tight and some of those I think I may of chosen a 2X if I had wanted them. But I chose one top and one bottom (a XL TOO!).

Talking to my aunt last night, I realized I am 80lbs give or take away from my goal weight. My docs have said that an ideal weight is 155, but with all this extra skin when I get to 170ish it may be my ideal weight until the skin tones up. I still see myself as a very heavy person, when I see myself in a bathing suit or in the mirror, even though I know I'm wearing smaller clothes, I honestly can't see a difference from when I was 391 lbs. When I wear clothes that fit well I can, but in a bathing suit or underwear I can't see it at all. When I shop, I will hold up a shirt that will fit if I try it on, but in my mind it's telling me that it won't fit. Isn't it funny how we have to retrain our mind in all these little ways!

So I wanted to share a recipe I found and tried on Spark people. It is packed full of protein and was delicious. I'll just post the link here, and I want to go post it on the recipe forum on this website for others to check out. http://recipes.sparkpeople.com/recipe-detail.asp?recipe=936067

Okay I typed myself out tonight. Take care all!