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Battle With The Blues

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ladyarwenrose

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So, for those of you that don't know....I have Bipolar and struggle with Depression. And as you know after surgery we will undoubtedly hit a point in our journey where our hormones go wacky and we'll battle with depression and grief (from lack of our fav foods) and many more emotions. well for those of us that have depression, etc. issues to begin with...this is made much worse. I've been battling the blues all weekend and there's no end in sight. I'm withdrawing from friends and family and VST and my facebook peeps. I'm even withdrawing slightly from my boyfriend.....EEEK! All I want to do is lay around on the couch and watch TV (olympics!). It's so hot here that I can't go walking like i'm supposed to. and they told me not to use my gazelle. so what the hell am I suppose to do? I live in a tiny apartment, so i can't walk around, too much stuff in the way to make it worth while. yeah, someone suggest going to the mall.....but i'd want to spend $ and I don't have any to spare. I haven't been released to go swimming either or i'd get a gym membership and go swimming....the one near me is only $10/month. I'm not losing weight as fast as most of you because of my lack of excersize. to make it all worse there is TONS of candy around the office and i'm trying hard to avoid it all. but when people as you OVER and OVER and OVER again if you want a piece, or if I want some cake, or if i want a cookie, or if I can't have.......fill in the blanks. it makes it very hard to keep positive about your choice to have this surgery. don't get me wrong, I would do it again in a heart beat....it's saving my life. I just wish they had prepared me better for what to expect afterwards.

 

not sure why i'm saying all this. not even sure if people will read it or if it will help anyone. i'm rambling and complaining and i'm sorry. I'll cya again when i'm in a better frame of mind.

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That is what this site is all about. To laugh, to cry, to vent, to complain, to be happy, to be sad. Someone is listening to you no matter what. It helps to know we have a place to do this. Try to figure it out and do the best you can. We are all here for you.

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It sounds tough but perhaps it would help if you reminded yourself that you're doing everything that you can do given the limitations that you have. try to celebrate the small goals and to cut yourself some slack...you've just had major surgery and you don't need to get everything 100% right from the beginning...Mokee is right - this is what this site is about, to vent and get rid of what you're struggling with. Stay strong and know that you're not alone in this!

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I suffer from depression too and found that the first two months were the worst - specially when I had to come to terms with never being to eat like everybody else. It was really tough but now I just deal with it the best I can. My work has candy everywhere too and I do cheat a bits with that - at least they are fun size so I don't feel so bad. This is an up and down battle and we can just take it one day at a time. Sometimes i've found myself in tears at work but my co-workers are so supportive - it's a very small office and everybody knows that I had the surgery.

Hang in there!!!

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My depression is what has led me to this journey! You vent all you need to! That is what this site is for! Everyone here is in this journey together.

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