Sabotaging Myself
This surgery really is not easy. There are so many people that say we have taken the "easy" way out of being fat. I'm learning, the hard way, that this really is a lot of work. Maybe for some people, they can sit back and let the weight drop off. I know a couple people that never went to the gym, drink alcohol (lots), eat whatever they want and still the pounds just drop off. I guess I was hoping I wouldn't have to work so hard anymore. I've recently gotten out of a 4 week stall. I lost 5 lbs, and now I'm not losing anymore. This time I know its my fault because I am definitely grazing. I've actually gotten up to over 1000 calories a few times, which I don't think I should be at this point, and definitely not with carbs, which is what I've been grazing on. I'm going to the gym 5 days a week now, and burning 600+ calories according to MFP, but I'm going between 228-229. I start out really well, having cheese and wheat crackers for breakfast, and lean protein for lunch. Sometimes I make it to after dinner before I start grazing. Sometimes I start after lunch. I know it sounds like a cop out, but I've been thinking of asking my surgeon if they have a recommendation for someone for me to see about the mental part of this. Since having a smaller stomach inst really working for me at the moment, I guess I need to deal with issues as to why I eat. I never really figured it out on my own. Most of my family is heavy so I always figured it was genetics, since I've never been abused or abandoned or anything like that. I don't really have an excuse to have a "food addiction" unlike other people that actually have had traumatic events that they need a coping mechanism. I was 220 when I got married, but quickly ballooned up to 250+ in the 1st couple yrs after I got married, and at one point was at 287. That was scary. So I know I should be happy with almost getting down to where I was before I got married, but I KNOW I'm sabotaging myself
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