Family S***s!
Sorry, but I had to say it.
I just got back from spending the day at mom's house. was doing some laundry there (gotta love free laundry) and having a good time with her. Dad calls and asks to speak to me. I'd just put the last load in the dryer and was trying to fold my shirts. I took the phone and he proceeds to lay into me about how bad a decision i'm making and to not do this. i.e. he thinks its a bad idea and expects me to bow down and follow HIS decision. First he tells me that i've never really tried to "work the program" in my weight loss before. That I can't expect to lose weight if I don't work at it. When that didn't work he suggests that what i'm doing is like what my other sibling is doing (long story, don't ask). I blew up. it's nothing like each other. i'm doing this for my health! not because I just want to change my body. When that didn't work he says that what i'm doing is like if he wanted to quit smoking he'd have them take one of his lungs away. WTF? really? WOW! I was seeing red! and I went silent. he could tell I was upset and ended with "i just wanted to say my opinion." I got off the phone and cried. I can't take much more of this from my parents. One more time! One more time and they are out of my life! I don't care how freakin hurt my dad is by that, he'll be out! mom will come around, I know she will. But he wants a relationship with me he'll shut up and just deal with me doing this! He hasn't changed my mind as he'd hoped. if anything he's pushed me closer to it! now I have an "i'll show them" attitude. not sure if that's good or not, but there you have it.
On the way home I was so quiet, made my boyfriend nervous. we got about 3/4 of the way home and i blurted out what I'd been thinking. I've come a long way....and i mean a LONG way! (I've always had fights like this with my dad, we've always butted heads. and up until 3 years ago I let him control me in every way. my boyfriend knows this.) I told him that a year ago this would have made me go to the store and get a 12 pack of coke, a bag of chocolate chunk cookies, a big bag of tostito's scoops, a can of cheese sauce, the biggest meal at whatever fast food place, a huge glass of chocolate milk (for the cookies), and a pint of ice cream to inhale later. and I would have eaten the whole thing! today? i just talked myself out of my mood.
progress!
ttyl HUGS
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