Emotional Wreck! Lol
I thought your hormone's were supposed to go haywire AFTER the surgery?
I'm 16 days until surgery. All week i've been so emotional, going from one extreme to the other. I have an anxiety and panic disorder too so this makes it worse.
I've been dealing with back pain and numbness down the sides of my legs for several months now. but the past month it's been progressively getting worse. I'd gone to the doctor on Wednesday and it did absolutely no good. they lectured me for 20 minutes on not living a life filled with narcotics. then proceeded to give me 1/4 of my normal quantity and 1/2 the strength of my normal perscription. I was really upset. I mean what am I supposed to do? Do they not beleive me? Am I just supposed to "block out the pain"?
So yesterday i'm at work and the pain was really bad. I can normally block it out pretty well at work, but not this time. I was getting frustrated with myself because I couldn't block it out. then I was getting increasingly depressed because I couldn't do anything to stop it, or make it go away. That started the anxiety. shaking my legs up and down. my thoughts racing. add that to my crying that I was trying so hard to hide. and then the panic hit! CRAP! It took me half an hour to calm myself down again. But I was able to (thank GOD) and went about my work day. but all night I was really upset about the whole ordeal, and my back, and the impatience over this surgery. I want it NOW, I want it over with, I want to get on with my life and work towards a healthier me. one that will hopefully not have this pain all the time!!!!
I just can't help thinking that if i'm this emotional now.....how am I going to be after the surgery?
LOL
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