Once being a pretty regular blogger and making the conscience choice to walk away a few years back makes this all the more interesting and fun to be writing again, So I started this endeavour (weight loss) to get my life back, last year around this time.... I think I find the most difficult part of this is not knowing where to begin. but here I go anyway...

I knew that my joy and hope was gone,

I knew that my weight was killing me and pushing me into an early grave and

I knew that for me, God was going to bring me out of the hole I dug for myself.

I didn't want one more year to escape me, So I thought to myself 2012 was going to be dedicated to me helping myself regain my Joy and life. I knew it was going to be a long road but, I was willing to give it my all for a future that I could smile about again

So, I started my weight loss adventure in late Dec 2011 right after Christmas

determined to cut a chunk out of this body and prepare for my gastric sleeve surgery, first week 10 pounds off. second week 7 pounds more, third week gained back 3 pounds, and the next week lost 1 pound- that did it for me... I had to lose 10 % of my body weight !

I knew I had to get strict on my intake, count everything and push on the physical part of my daily routine, which with being disabled by arthritis is so hard, It's excruciating- but I did what I dreaded doing-

being such a large size it's difficult being stared at feeling like you're a joke or

that you have no business to even be there and completely out of place

but I spoke to a trainer at the Y and told him exactly what I needed to lose and what I was physically able to do. He helped introduce me to the resistance equipment and late January 2012 I started 3 days a week for 20 min, slowly I started to lose again, and regularly losing 4-7 pounds a week with meal replaced shakes and one small meal at dinner.

eventually I increased my days to 5 doing 90+ min daily, getting stronger, seeing small changes in curves and a huge increase in muscle tone, sure I still have the fat hanging off those working muscles but now I can actually start to see them peeking out at me and that is really encouraging to say the least.

I was scheduled for surgery May 1st, I met my 10% and exceeded the required to 14% lost! the morning of my surgery I had lost 74 pounds pre-op and last week I was at 91 pounds down, I know this is a battle I face and some times will go slower and eventually get very hard to drop, but I'm in it, to win it.

and yesterday I was finally able to start back to the Y and I look forward to the weight to start dropping again

I felt urged to share and encourage others on their journey, so I decided to pick up my keyboard and blog again here and there about my journey.

The thing that makes this journey so rewarding are the small victories I can place in my heart, the tiny beautiful moments and things that average size people get to do daily without a second thought. Yesterday I went to Walmart and walked around shopping for well over an hour... something I was unable to do just 4 months ago without being in pain and winded, but yesterday was different!

during my shopping trip, I bought a belt.... yes a belt with a buckle and holes lol

what makes this wonderful for me is I'd NEVER bought myself a belt before. the only ones I ever had came as sashes on a dress or such. this time I fit into a real belt and even though it only closed to the second hole ... IT CLOSED!! PRAISE GOD !! and I bought it!! along with a sweater and several tanks in a size 3x that also fit. AMAZING.... these tiny victories bring me smiles and such joy because I know that more are coming, slowly but surely.

I wanted to share with others so maybe they would remind you to never give up your hope, it's never hopeless, and celebrate the smallest of victories!!

<3 Jenny