I am starting this blog not only to help myself, but to help others not feel bad about it and maybe look into it. I had to overcome shame, frustration, depression and such but anyone who is there thinking about it just do it to save yourself.

So I am slowly killing myself with this weight and I am to the point to start a new life. Quick list of goals to accomplish before I die.

1. Lose the weight to extend my life for me and my family.

2. Be able to play something with my son as where I do not hurt or I am capable to. ( football, throw a baseball, fishing, camping)

3. Enjoy once again the travel or simply being able to get out and do simple things.

4. Set a example for my Son and Daughters that would make them proud.

5. Somehow be able to thank my wife for always being there in sickness and health.

These are only a few items but are the most important to me right now. When someone reaches a weight like this it really does cause even the simplest tasks to be hard. Anyways, just how did I get here? At one time I could run 3 miles in 17min and get a runners high from it. I know those days are gone but always wished to be able to get that high again from just exercise. I was in the Marine Corps for many years and wanted to continue but during my last re-enlistment physical they found problems with my heart. Which at the time I was running 5 to 10 miles a day and getting slower run times. Didn't make sense and they could not figure it out either so I was denied re-enlistment and shuffled off to the VA system. Needless to say I was still about 190lbs 6'2 and was getting worse and worse. Just walking from one side of the house to the other would get me huffing and puffing.

After more tests found that I had HOCOM or hypertrophic obstructive cardio myopathy very severe and became a candidate for a new surgical procedure at the age of only 31. It is where a section of the heart is cut out to reduce the strong squeezing effect of the heart. Basically the heart is twice the size of a normal mans and has to be weakened because it is to strong a muscle. So becuase of the heart size they could get completely in to remove enough to make a channel. So, basically a couple notches were taken out of my endurance and more weight started to accumulate from a slower lifestyle.

Some years went by and during a severe ice storm I slipped and tore 4 of the 5 ligaments in my right knee. Again, my lifestyle was reduced to almost a sedentary one thus once again putting on more weight. To this day the ACL is still severed and I have to be careful when walking. Now I am not saying this is the complete reason for the gain but they added to it.

Yes, I have lost weight and gained it right back. Most of us know how that goes. I was always capable of losing a good amount say 30 lbs but then would gain back 40. So I kept yo yo ing for years till I came to a point that I knew I was slowly killing myself. I had looked into lap bad surgery about a year ago but kept putting it off. I guess when you first go and see the hoops and time you must wait most give up. For anyone reading this DO Not Give Up! I finally went back this February and received more information then realized that the band would not be a good tool to use for my case so opted for the sleeve.

Yes, weight has always been a issue with my parents so I had to always work extremely hard in the service to keep it down. So out of the service now and body broke down so all that and metabolism really slowed at 40 I am to overweight now. I finally admitted that I needed help and am on my way.