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Changing My Name To ... Plateau Patty, Grrrr

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4ALongerLife

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So I'm playing the game that I hate. It's "up a lb, down a lb" which is followed by "up a half lb., down a half lb" in my life. Does anyone else experience this? I think I'm cursed. I swear all I see is people losing more weight and I compare myself. Then I think "hello stop your whining you durn cry baby." lol... just being honest.

 

Here's the deal tho... I'm 10 weeks out and after receiving one of two hospital bills for my complications (I had aspriation pneumonia and a leak/abscess after my surgery, then revised surgery)... I'm just really wondering if this was worth it. Don't get me wrong, I know it was but.... if I knew then, what I knew now of my experience... would I still do it? In all undue honesty, yes, probably so. I've been fat since I was about 6 months old. Seriously, I have pix, I should scan them and post them. Not that anyone reads my posts :( Ok rambling, I just feel lonely in this journey and I'm a bit lost. I don't have a NUT, right now I can't afford one, my new insurance plan doesn't go into affect until June 1.... maybe I'm stuck in pity party central mode tonight, my apologies. Writing is supposed to help, heck how I used to cope isn't an option anymore (hello carbs and sweets, remember those days?).

 

I just wish I could let the worry over all of this go. It's made me feel more anxious than ever and I was craving a big ol' cookie today, so I indulged... too much but it's logged into myfitnesspal dag nab it! But how do I cope with this? :( IDK... I went to the gym and that's helped some. Otherwise, I type in a journal here (which reads like a bunch of mess that no one reads, damn pity party again grrr). Who else can I talk to about this? Honestly there are very few here that I've spoken to and surely my biatching rambling session is running the rest off. :( Sigh....

 

Well SHOULD anyone read this, and IF you do pray, even if you don't know me... please say a prayer for me. I'm being super hard on myself, worrying too much and looking at a few things that are stressing me out seriously (money being the top worry). I'm attempting to fight the demons that got me in this mess with weight as it is, I don't really need more items to push me into failure - I'm struggling enough playing the up/down game enough as is, aren't I? I don't want to be "undone" after having gone through all of this.....

 

Signed,

Not the super sleever poster child of positivity :(

 

... my apologies.... Pity party is officially over on 5/19, I swear!

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i read your entry and I will say a prayer for you! Did you initially have the band or what kind of revision was it? How much have you lost and health-wise, how do you feel?

God Bless!

Angie

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Believe me you are not alone at just a few days over 4 weeks post op the scale is itching upwards. I am scouring this sight trying to find out what is going on. I think that I am not getting in enough liquids. So I have made a conscious decision to drink, drink, drink and make sure I get in 52 or more grams of protein a day. I thought I was drinking too many fluids but then I was at least steadily losing when I cut back the scale just froze. So I've decided to do what worked at first and push myself to also do some more walking. Failure is not an option here. We can make it.

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Aren't you still allowed to speak with the nutritionist at your surgeon's office since you are only 5 weeks out? That really is horrible if you can't. I'm sorry you are having such a hard time.

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You are not alone sweet girl. I go up and down also. I snuck a cookie and never wrote about it (if no one sees it but me, it did not happen lol, out of sight out of mind.

I read way more than I post. I read yours just do not post .... sorry.

You deserve a pity party after all you have been through. I have balloons you supply the pretend cake.

It is all going to work out, you are going to look back one day exactly why you had to go through all of this.

I will pray for you and will continue to also. I promise! I pray your appitite subsides. You have to get those bad carbs out of your system for a few days in order for the appeitite to not be so strong. You can do it. You must be stronger than you realize , think of all the things you been through and your still here concerned, not jumping over the cliff at Dairy Queen.

Take it easy on yourself, your doing good.

Remember this, it is not a race..... it is one day at a time, everyday. We all have bad days eating the wrong things.

It's funny, I had not posted a topic in a few weeks and just got done posting one, asking others how good they were about what they eat. See... we all struggle, that why we had to have surgery. You are right where you are suppose to be.

((((big hug lady))) :)

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