Regretting
I wish I would have thought to write on here before. It would have been nice to look back at pre-op. But what is done, is done.
I was sleeved on Monday, April 16 2012 by Dr Alberto Aceves in Mexicali MX. Surgery was uneventful. The first couple of days post op were normal - some gas, a blown peripheral IV...normal things.
I was released to home on Thursday, April 19th....I drove myself the 4+ hours back home.
Since I have been home...each day, I have felt progressively worse - physically and mentally. Today I feel like I am at my bottom.
I ache all over, from neck, through my abdomen, all the way to my hips. For the first time since surgery, I have nausea. It gets better when sitting, worse when standing and almost unstoppable when walking. My first two days home, I could walk a mile without issue (I'm a nurse - I spend my entire day walking, one mile is normally insignificant.) Today...I could barely manage to make it to the soup aisle in the supermarket and back to the car without total fatigue and agony. I have a tightness behind my sternum that never seems to go away.
To top it - my stomach feels like it is on the LEFT side of my upper abdomen, and it is freaking me out. The left side of my abdomen continues as firm and tender to palpation since surgery, with minimal reduction.
I can't tell if these things are normal, or if I am just being paranoid/psycho patient. I have been able to consume around 1 liter of fluids daily, and minimal protein. Every shake or supplement I have attempted has ended up with me curled up in bed, in agony. It feels like a lead weight in my chest and stays that way for 2 or 3 hours after consumption. I've tried watering it down, making it hot, cold, tepid...no dairy, no chocolate, unflavored...you name it.
This is the worst decision I have ever made. I don't know how I'll live through it.
Rationally, I know why I did it. I am 31, and 2 months ago I was diagnosed with Coronary Artery Disease. I am a Type 2 diabetic. I have exercise-induced asthma, I am (was) hypertensive. I had tried and failed diets for almost 15 years. I had to do something.
But right now, sitting here crying over a bottle of sugar free Propel that I just can't seem to get down...I feel lost.
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