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Struggling :(

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4ALongerLife

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Ok today I feel a bit like crying. I am trying, really trying at this journey to be successful, but why do I just feel like I'm flubbing up? And yes, I don't mean flubbing, but I'm trying to keep this PG or at least PG13, ok?

 

I finally downloaded myfitnesspal.com, where before I was writing everything as I took it in my mouth (the old Weight Watcher's lingo of "write it if you bite it" comes to mind); however, everyone says use fitness pal, so I'm trying that. Omg I'm not eating enough. How in hades DO I EAT MORE? Yeah, I know ... all the newbies that possibly read this are now thinking "WHAT?" but I cannot eat enough to half of the calories this thing says for me to do. And I went to the gym. Mind you I only did 2 miles, I feel like I was lazy but it was a rushed amount of time and this thing says I burned 384 cals. So I'm now about to where I started after breakfast. What? Oh wait I forgot I "ate" the rest of my breakfast shake later. Well whoopee, only 1174 more calories to consume. It's 7 pm. Place your bets if you think I'm gonna get that in. No wonder I'm ravenous late at night. HOW DO I DO THIS? grrrr

 

And is it ok to count Cytomax pure protein tangerine or tropical drinks as my water for the day? Per my dr., I thought so... per myfitnesspal, no... that has it's own category.

 

 

Am I going to fail at this? Seems like the story of my life. Yeah I know boo hoo but I'm having a moment. I lived through the surgery, staying an extra day because my temp kept spiking. Went home and got pneumonia so I went back for a week to the hospital... got out only to go back in in extreme pain, come to find out I have a leak and an abscess and have to do surgery again (mind you I paid for this out of my pocket and have the rottenest. lousiest insurance plan ever). Yes these would be tears in my beer, but I CAN'T DRINK BEER anymore. :( Sigh....

 

And I'm trying to get back to working out and ppl tell me I'm messing up by doing that. I love love love the elliptical. I miss my workouts of 5 miles min a day. So I'm doing 3 every other day to build up. Mind you the revision surgery was 3/20... so this is too soon? :( My dr. said do what you want, you should be ok to be active, don't worry your body will tell you whenever you do too much. So it did every other day... enough time for me to recover and get back into the gym and do 3 more miles. So today I "took it easy" and only did two miles. Treadmills are boring to me..... and it's too hot in the great state of Tejas to run outside (yes, it's gorgeous right now but I would keel over and die from lack of oxygen if I ran.... THAT is a huge challenge that I KNOW I am not currently ready for).

 

But then I get on the scale (yeah bad idea) and I'm up a bit. Not enough to mention but just when I'm feeling like ... well since dinner that I struggled to make isn't working for me (as my belly is wringing itself out like a limp dishtowel after I took a few bites of the turkey-nitas --- yeah my own creation. I found a recipe on eggface's website that sounded delish and then in the store I remembered, my dr. says no pork until 6 months out... maybe b/c he's jewish as a friend told me that's not what her dr. said... idk but that's what my dr. said so i follow it, period). Anywho, I digress and ramble because I am having an emotional moment, sorry.... but I feel like I can't eat anything. I'm struggling with not drinking during a meal. REALLY struggling. And in eating enough ... grrrrr. Can someone send me 5 to 10 recipes of what they lived on during this frustrating phase between full liquids to mush? IDK what I'm doing. But here's my goal: NO MORE LEAKS, pray for no abscess (that crap HURTTTTTTS, or mine certainly did as it was in my diaphragm four days after my discharge from the hospital with pneumonia... hmm seems to me that the diaphragm is needed after you get out with pneumonia.... God's funny right? :( it's not God, forgive me lord....). Just ain't that Murphy's law? It is in my life I guess....

 

Ok sorry that was ramble city... but how do you "be successful" with this? I'm worried I'm "plateauing" already. :(

 

And DOES my cytomax pure protein drinks count as my water - or just to the 48 oz a day? Sigh.... so much to try to keep up on. I need help. Lord please, send me a patient angel who doesn't mind the rambling overemotional crappus that women do! :)

 

Hope all of you are being successes... and pass it forward to those that struggle. One day, dang it, that's gonna be me (gulp, I hope).

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Wow! Whew! Take a deep breath! You have a LOT going on here, including complications that you've had to deal with. Your body is going through a tremendous shock and tremendous changes, and everyone is different at this stage. Let me just address MyFitness Pal, though. I, too, log every single bite, and when I reached stalls it was SO beneficial to look at everything and see where I might tweak things. I highly recommend you continue to do this, now and forever. At the same time, the calorie goals set my MFP are for people who are on traditional diets. The unsleeved masses could not comfortably or successfully consume the small number of calories we can consume after surgery. The nutritionist at my bariatric center (of excellence) told me I should be consuming about 800 calories per day, including the 250 I get from my two protein drinks. Right now, you should be highly focussed on water, protein, vitamins, and as much exercise as you can do without injuring yourself or setting yourself back.

After a lifetime of failed dieting, it's easy and natural to feel that once again we are failing. However, this is a game changer, and all the rules are different. Again, take a deep breath, track, relax, and go through the process. It's going to be ok!

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Thanks so much writergirl and notime. I just worry I'm going to fail on this as well as the other million diets that I've done. And after all that I've done complication wise, dammit I don't want to fail. (praying)

Sorry I have "my moments" where I freak. I just happened to type it out lol.. thanks for your support.

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I'm sorry you are struggling right now. You had a LOT going on, so you need to remember that you made it through some really dark days with all those complications. I think you should be so proud of all you have accomplished so far. Give your body time to heal.

My Fitness Pal is an awesome tool, however, as Writergirl states, the goals they set are for someone that's on a traditional diet. Use MFP as a tool to easily keep track of what you eat, see your carb & protein and calorie intake.

I have used MFP faithfully for six months, but followed the guidelines by my doctor which was 40-75 carbs, 80 protein, and 800-1000 calories, 64 ounces of a water, and I have lost about 10 a month during the pre-diet phase before surgery. MFP suggests I eat close to 1,3000 calories, 145 grams of carbs, and 45 grams of protein a day. It recommends even higher when I add my exercise to the day. If I followed MFP guidelines I would gain weight, so it always says I am eating too few calories, which is fine. Using it as a tool to keep track of everything is what it's there for, and it works great for me, I just don't follow their recommendations.

I hope someone can help you figure out what kinds of foods will help you get your protein in if you are having a hard time eating. I read somewhere on these forums there is a place called unjury.com and they have a very good flavoried chicken broth. I was thinking of trying that and perhaps cooking it and adding an egg to it to make egg drop soup, to help push my proteins when the time comes.

I'll keep you in my prayers. Good Luck.

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Take a break, Stop worrying so much... things will work out we have all done this to change our lives and it won't happen over nite. My doc call week 3 and 4 lost weeks your body is trying to figure out whats going on with the food it gets and what to do with it. I'm 7 weeks out and have found pork is to dense to eat. Ground beef is ok fish is better. If you like tuna, make tuna salad. Good Luck!

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on MFP make sure you add your drink as a meal, but then also count it as fluids (on the bottom where the water cup is). It definitely counts as both. I will email you a really good document a local nutritionist that specializes in bariatric surgery patients sent me, it has some recipes in it. You are in my prayers!

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Egg whites, slightly whisked, and you can microwave in 10 sec increments or cook on stovetop really slow, and then add splenda and cinammon or vanilla... they are really good and loaded with protein. They kind of taste like oatmeal. Also, I made a squash casserole with canned squash, cottage cheese, two eggs, salt and pepper...mixed it all together and baked in oven for about 30 minutes, cut in squares, and eat for lunch or dinner....oh, yeah, I added shredded cheese on top while it was baking. Those are just two recipes I have tried during my mush phase...I still have 10 days of mush before I can add meat of any type.

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