Psych Eval--Sike!
Maybe some can relate and maybe some wont but I feel like this forum has really helped me to be comfortable with my decision and open about my emotions and my life.
This body represents my pain!
Every excess pound represents something. All of the ups and downs of my life, bad decisions, dreams on hold...
Everything...
I had my psych eval today! I dont know what I was expecting...I guess more questions, but there were hardly any--maybe because I talk too much!
Yesterday I had it out with my sister...full on brawl.
My husband came into our place and instead of supporting me and hearing me...he added to my anger!
I havent been very friendly lately...
Im just tired of putting everyone elses happiness before mine.
I thought that the events of my life these past few weeks would have really been dug through during this psych eval and I would be angry that because of allowing other people to control my emotions that I would have been found unfit for surgery or something...I mean everyone has issues right!?
Regardless of how Im feeling about my relationships with other people I have really made this decision for me. Maybe because I am so focused on myself right now people who normally get all my attention and expect me to fix everything in their life now are angry with me because frankly i dont have time for it. TOUGH!!
I cant help anyone anymore until I HELP MYSELF. I cant fix your life and help you be happy when this SMILE IS FAKE.
A few tears fell when asked what was my last straw that I finally decided to move forward. I AM MY LAST STRAW. THE REALIZATION that I MATTER, and that IM IMPORTANT and that I NEED TO COME FIRST...the person staring back at me in the mirror is not the person I see when I look at pictures. That woman in the mirror is beautiful, confident, strong, looks amazing...etc etc. The person in the pictures is all of that but doesnt look as amazing as she thought when she put on that outfit she thought hid some imperfections.
This body...does not live up to my view of ME...and Im tired of it holding me in like a prisoner.
End result of Psych eval--IM READY FOR SURGERY...Im realistic about my expectations and I have a good feel of who I am right now and where I want to go.
SOUNDS GOOD TO ME...ILL TAKE THAT!!
Was your psych eval a scary thought? what happened?
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