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Secret...forget It!

2BonederfulAgain

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<_< ?!

 

Originally I was thinking Im not going to tell anyone I am having this surgery, you know because people always have an opinion about what you are doing. I work in a really tight knit family setting, if you tell one person then everyone knows (theres only 7 of us in the main office, but there are lots of people in each program). So who cares THEY KNOW (I mean they are my other family!) But I dont want other people knowing. Is this weird?!

 

I dont want the reaction of "O yolisse lost a lot of weight" and someone responds "o because she had that surgery" like if we dont have anything else to do, just get the surgery and life goes on and its fixed like LIPO and a TUMMY TUCK. They dont get it!

 

Do I want to take the time to say "ACTUALLY, i had to do pre-op diet, and then surgery, then clear liquids for 2 weeks...TRY JUST DOING THAT!? and this and that" Or do I shrug that off like WHATEVER!

 

Yesterday, I was talking to the Psych nurse here at my job (SISTER MAUREEN, the best NUN who you would never know is a nun--I love her) I just was picking her brain about the psych eval etc etc. and we were in close proximity to one of the receptionists from another program who asked "why the hell are you going through a psych eval?" I gave her the answer most people would expect from me "Because IM F*#% NUTS!" LOL :P:lol:!! Then I said "No Im going through the Weight Loss Surgery Approval Process, I mean just cuz Im nuts doesnt mean I should have to be Fat and Nuts! DAMN!" Laugh Laugh and then she responded "O my...you're doing that! -_- "

 

(IN MY MIND) :rolleyes: YES IM DOING IT...and I DONT CARE WHAT YOU THINK BC 100034534 people can say DONT DO IT(well maybe not that many), but until you have been in my shoes YOUR OPINION DOESNT MATTER!

 

Until you have journalled all the food touching your lips for 3 weeks and staying under 1300 calories and walking/running 3-5 miles a day and when you weigh in you have lost 2 POUNDS then BBBYYYYEEEE !!!!! and had to be on medication that makes you so nauseous that you cant even talk without gagging, and have to ultimately face your husband and say to him "I can never give you children because of my weight and the complications it causes in my life, and that I will likely suffer many many miscarriages and possibly birth an unhealthy child" then you cant say I SHOULDNT DO IT.

 

So anyway...this sounds like I dont care about what people say because Im going to do it anyway (which is true) but the question is...DO I EVEN WANT TO HAVE TO EXPLAIN ALL THE TIME or DEAL WITH THE OPINIONS!

 

I know many of you are going through this same battle...what are your thoughts!?



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Well if I were you I would not tell anyone at work. I chose nnot to tell ANYONE no one knows but my mother father & husband! people can be so judgemental. I am 3 weeks out and have lost 23 lbs so far and it's very noticeable! folks are asking lots of questions but I tell them oh just liquid diet then eat a very small dinner. See the comment that one person made "oh you are doing that" why even make that comment. sure folks will see the difference in your eating habits and get

suspicious but oh well let them! sounds like you have already let the cat out of the bag though,

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I'm with you Yolisse- I am one of a large staff group where I work and gossip is UTTERLY rife on a good day. I have decided that this is my private business and I don't need the judgement, second - guessing, the zillion explanation nonsense to ignorant people or the skewed judgement that with certain people will surely follow. I have told a very small number of people. 6 close friends who are scattered around the world and sworn to zip it, my Godmother and my brother. That is IT and that is how it will stay. My Dad and stepmom don't even know ....

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Surgery is not a Fix All, it is simply a tool we purchase to help us lose weight, kinda like a diet pill but WAY BETTER! I find some people even if they know you've had the surgery are timid about saying "oh you look great, Keep it up" they will tell a family member who is brave enough to pass along the compliment. And then you have folks who you've known for years who are not aware you have had the surgery and they EXCLAIM IN THE MIDDLE OF PUBLIC "OH MY YOU ARE LOOKING GOO, THERE IS ONLY HALF OF YOU LEFT, WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING TO YOURSELF" now when this happens you will be completely validated! This happened to me just this week and I've only lost 52 lbs....but this lady just couldn't help herself...and you know what?....It felt great to have such a compliment!

Good Luck

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My office staff knows Im having surgery...

1. because we are extremely tight knit, I babysit people's children for whole weekends, they were at my wedding, etc.

2. because we are all overweight, and we complain and do WW and fail. There are some here who need to feel it is ok to go have SURGERY--it is necessary for some, I AM ONE and just opening up and saying Im going to the seminar, has had everyone doing their research. They can all make their own decision. We are all women here and we struggle together. Im SURE that if insurance covered tummy tucks a few people here would have it done in a blink of an eye!

To EACH her OWN

and 2 people are going to seminars to learn about it!and Im all about being informed!

I was motivated to do it by someone who i used to work with who had it done.

My work family is not a concern...actually its my husbands family who is! haha! They are all about body images and weight loss (yet most should be asking to workout with me instead of commenting) I already told my husband...U ZIP IT MISTER...no one is to know on your side! and my family doesnt know outside of my parents and sisters.

I just dont want the crap answers of oh you can lose that if you eat right and exercise...but are the same people who say "Why dont you want to eat" when they are trying to serve me a man size plate of plantains and fried chicken. Same people who go to Dominican Republic for a routine Lipo and breast lift but look down their nose at the mention of getting WLS.

My thing is why cant i wear this decision proudly as a badge of courage for taking my problem by the nuts!?

Why do we need to be so secretive?

I see this as my fertility treatment, I need to do this to move forward. I need to do this for me emotionally as well.

Do we look down at the person who gets a pace maker for their heart? This is my pacemaker...I need to do this to LIVE my life.

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I can understand not wanting to share it with the people you work with because it is PRIVATE. I've been going back and forth in the decision to share with the people I work with. Fortunately (unfortunately?) when I evaluated my relationship with my team members I realized that I don't think of them as good friends. Really, my idea of them is as friendly co-workers.

I don't plan on telling anyone who is not family or a close friend. If a person and I haven't had a heart to heart in the entire time I've known them then I see no reason to share my private information. They will know I'm having surgery and I will be out for so much time. That's it.

I worry about people commenting after the surgery, but I plan to dodge any inquiries. Honestly, though if you are close to these people and you genuinely want to share with them by all means share. If one of them has a different opinion than yours--discuss it. Your discussion with them will teach them a few things they don't know. If you want to keep something private then please allow yourself to do so.

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I have decided to post it to Facebook, but not just yet - and I am going to write a very long note about the journey, and what it has done, and how much of that was never possible before.

But just not quite yet, lol...

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I agree with Marisa46 comment. I am scheduled to have surgery on May 16th and it was just confirmed today. I love my job and my coworkers, but I will not be sharing any information with them on the procedure. I will be sending an email stating I am having a out patient procedure and that I will be out for a X amount of days. Thats it. I am sure my lead will come over and inquire for further information(Just because she is nosey 8) but she won't be getting it. I have only told 3 people:a best friend, a friend, and a aunt. Thats it. As long as your content with your support group, then you will be fine.

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Im wearing it on my sleeve...but it really is about personality!

People whisper regardless of what any of us do. I have a really good girlfriend who lost 200 PLUS LBS on her own (over 3.5 yrs) and people talk s&(?* all the time about her.

Im not worried about my work people...like i said they all already know. They knew when I went to the seminar--I went in like hey Im going to this..yal wanna come?

see my comment before this. I dont think it is something to feel shame about...Im more ashamed of my lack of motivation to get up and look pretty coming to the office, and I come in with leggings and a messy ponytail all the time.

Time for me to wear HIGH HEALS again and stop hiding behind the scenes especially at my own events, I wont even sign my name to my amazing projects because I dont want to show face--that is SHAMEFUL.

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i say you go girl well said! n u don't have to explain Ur self to anyone, its Ur business n Ur decision! i kept mines a secret, people at my job r too judgmental.. i don't care what they think, but telling them is welcoming them into my private out of work life!.. co-workers r co-workers for me, friends r friends n family is family. so if u feel they r family n r comfy with letting them now, hey its all on you! so great job, n looking forward to hearing all the awesome things u will experience!

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